


Strangers 'Til Now

by bustybarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Character goes to rehab, Clint & Nat are a thing because I want them to be, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, In other words I play fast & loose with canon, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Off screen drug overdose, Polyamory, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 29,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bustybarnes/pseuds/bustybarnes
Summary: In a city like New York, even in a borough like Brooklyn, what are the odds of two supersoldiers meeting and dating the same girl?Pretty damned good.But what happens when that girl has issues and the supersoldiers are not that good on the whole communication thing?This is the story of what happens when Cassandra Bryan met Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.  And none of their lives were the same.





	1. So an ex-assassin stumbles into a drugstore...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay a couple of things. In case you missed it in the tags, Steve & Bucky are a couple in this fic. They, for their reasons (*screams from the rooftops* BISEXUALITY!!), have decided they wanted to date a woman in addition to each other so if that's not your thing, turn back now. They talk about this (eventually) so it's not like they're keeping secrets.
> 
> Next, I did a fair amount of research on locations but I'm not a native New Yorker (even though I freakin' LOVE that city and one borough in particular) so if I got something wrong, please cut me some slack? I'm a South Carolina bumpkin.
> 
> Also, mind the tags where it comes to warnings about my OFC. It becomes apparent pretty obvious pretty early on but it's never mentioned outright.

“Super glue, gauze, and medical tape?”

The strained voice knocked her out of the tedium of inventory. “I’m sorry?”

“I can’t find the super glue, big gauze pads, or medical tape.” She turned around to see practically a wall of muscle with dark brown hair searching frantically in the entirely wrong area.

“Well if you’re trying to avoid stitches, might I recommend liquid bandage? Basically the same thing as super glue but medical grade and sterile. It’s right down here with the bandages.” She motioned down to the section of shelves she was counting for inventory, even moving off to the side to give him clear access to the items...which he was completely looking over. “Here.” She pulled a bottle of liquid bandage off the shelf at her shoulder followed by the largest gauze pads they carried and a 2 pack of medical tape. She grabbed a basket out of the display at her feet, dropping the items as well as antiseptic spray and alcohol wipes in before handing it over.

“Thank you...Drea.” He said, peering at her nametag. Now that the tinge of panic was gone, Drea heard the faint remnants of an accent she couldn’t quite place.

“My pleasure. Hope everything works out but, if not, we’re open twenty four hours.” She couldn’t help but watch the way he almost glided towards the checkout, his shoes barely making any noise on the normally squeaky floor.

It was almost a month before the mystery man made another appearance, this time near the end of her shift when she was desperately needing either caffeine or something stronger for her headache. She was trying to put items back that people had (annoyingly!) left on the counter when they changed their minds about buying them but a somewhat familiar silhouette was blocking her way.

“What’s on your shopping list today, more liquid bandage or something new?” Drea’s smile faded when he turned to face her. An ugly purple bruise covered most of his frankly borderline illegally good looking face along with what looked to be a fresh burn going down the right side of his neck. “Fucking hell what happened to you?!” Her voice was a bit shrill and her choice of language earned her a pointed glare from the pharmacist on duty.

“You should see the other...well, let’s just say I came out better looking.” He smiled but there was an edge there, under his words, that belied his attempt at humor.

“I don’t doubt it but, well, come sit down and let me grab what you probably need.” 

She led him over to the pharmacy waiting area, noting that he was favoring his right side. She wanted to ask what happened but tall, dark and handsome seemed like a secretive kind of guy. He all but collapsed on the plastic chair in the pharmacy waiting area. “Wait here,” Drea said, before going into the back to fetch painkillers. She always felt safe there. Like this was her sanctuary. All these various types of medication were able to take away one’s pain, even though it was just a temporary fix. Actually… Now that she had an excuse to use some painkillers, and she was in charge of doing inventory… no one would notice if she just downed a couple herself. She shook out 4 pills, putting 2 into a tiny cup while keeping the other 2 in her hand. She collected the other necessary supplies for treating her patient’s injuries and walked back out to the waiting area, but just before she opened the employee’s door, she tossed the pills into her mouth and swallowed them dry. She knew the pharmacy inside out, having worked here for 4 years, so she knew where exactly to stand to avoid detection from both the cameras and her boss. 

Approaching the stranger, Drea instructed, “Here. Take these.” She handed the man the cup of painkillers and a bottle of water. He accepted it, but didn’t move to actually swallow them.

“Oh, I don’t need these,” he said, extending his arm back to Drea.

“What are you, some kind of supersoldier?” Drea laughed at her own joke.

Her patient seemed startled for a microsecond before he laughed along with her, although the mirth didn’t quite seem to reach his eyes. Well, he did seem like he went through the wringer, Drea thought, it’s not like he’d be in the laughing mood, you idiot.

The man took the pills and tossed his head back to help them go down, exposing a long neck that would be beautiful except for the burn on his neck. Drea swallowed and sat down in the seat beside him. She took out some iodine and gently applied some on his bruise. “So do you have a name or…”

“Um… I’m James,” he replied, clearing his throat. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you… officially.”

They lapsed into a somewhat companionable silence as Drea applied more iodine to James’ bruise and down onto as much of the burn as she could see, adding burn cream to the iodine once she was done. Ideally, Drea would’ve thoroughly cleaned the whole burn but given the circumstances, iodine and antibiotic ointment was the best she could do. Drea kept glancing up to make sure she wasn’t hurting or making James more uncomfortable than he already was. Once or twice she met his gaze, his blue eyes darting back and forth from her to a random spot behind her. She wanted to convey compassion but neither of them held the other’s gaze long enough, James focusing on the wall behind her and Drea trying to concentrate on treating his injuries as best she could. Drea could tell the burn went down past the jacket he was wearing but she didn’t think he’d be willing to strip down so she could finish cleaning and treating the area.

“So, I think you’ll live, but you really need the rest of that burn cleaned up. Do you have anybody to help you clean and treat the rest of it?” Drea balled up the empty iodine wipes and antibiotic cream packets.

“I can manage.” James cringed as he maneuvered his jacket back up higher.

“No, you can’t. From the looks of it, that burn goes at least halfway across your back and I can’t tell how far down your side. So unless you’re double jointed, you’re gonna need help. I’m off… now as a matter of fact, so come on.” She was stern in her tone and James blinked at the finality of her statement. “It’s either this or I call an ambulance.” She fished out her cell phone, but James put his left hand out to stop her.

“No hospital.”

“Good. Now where are we headed? I’m in Vinegar Hill. You?” Drea motioned for him to walk in front of her, not bothering to clock out. She saw a hint of a smile on James’ face as he walked past her.

“Cobble Hill. Normally I would walk back, but I have a feeling you’re not having that.” He kept cutting glances back at her. James was a quick learner.

The Uber didn’t take long, but Drea still found time to remark on how adorable she thought the area was. 

“Not a New York native are you?”

“Nope. I’ve been here for about five years but obviously not long enough to pass for a native.” She smiled and blushed to see it was returned.

“Almost, but not quite. The Southern lilt is still there just a bit.”

She was impressed. Most people assumed she was from the midwest or Texas. “Not bad. Spend much time in the south?” James shook his head no. “Lemme guess… you’re a fan of the accent then?”

“Well yeah, but that’s not it. I have an ear for accents. I’m guessing one of the Carolinas or maybe Georgia.”

Damn. He was good. “I grew up basically on the South Carolina/Georgia border.”

“So this is the famed southern hospitality I’ve heard about…” James groused as the driver came to more of an abrupt stop than either of them had been expecting, Drea having to reach out to steady herself on James’ knee.

“Abso-damned-lutely.” She smiled down at her phone, clicking pay on the Uber app, and standing to one side to, hopefully, remind James he needed to go first. But he just stood beside her, adjusting his arm probably to find the least painful position.

“Up the stairs and to the left.” 

“C’mon, tough guy, you’re barely able to walk…” Drea reached out to take his left arm when he flinched away. “You got an injury you didn’t mention?”

“I just don’t like people being on my left side… or behind me. Here. Door key’s the blue one and the red one is the apartment key..”

Drea shook her head but took the key and held the door open for the injured man. She couldn’t help but notice how his hand never trembled despite the blistering amount of pain he must be in. “Those painkillers must be working then.”

“I have a stupidly high pain tolerance.”

Drea opened the door into a huge studio apartment and let out a long whistle. “Wooooow… and you live here alone?”

“Pretty much.” He stopped her from going in until he did something on his own phone. Probably disabling a security system. “Why?”

Drea just wandering around the apartment. “Are you rich or something?”

“Kind of. Again… why?”

Everything had been laid out in such a way as to suggest James knew where every belonging was at all times. “Because I haven’t seen this much space in New York since the last time I went over to Central Park, let alone in an apartment without three or four people living in it.” There was a wall of nothing but swords displayed on it. Movement in her periphery brought Drea back from ogling the apartment as James pulled out a stool from what looked like a workbench and sat down to try and get his jacket off. “Here you’re gonna need help…”

“Just gotta get this thing off my right side. Leave it on my left.” He grunted as he tried, and failed, to get his injured arm out of the jacket.

So he didn’t like people walking behind him or on his left side, didn’t want to even show his left side… oh. Must be a vet with a prosthetic. Drea didn’t comment or complain how keeping the jacket on could hamper getting his wounds cleaned. She gently pulled the jacket backwards and down a little so James could slide his arm out. 

“Well my suspicions were correct. The burns go down most of your side and almost all the way to your spine. I would say this isn’t gonna hurt but there are some pieces of dead skin I need to cut away to keep the area free of bacteria.” She looked carefully over the whole burned area to make notes of where she needed to debride. Drea looked around for scissors, but didn’t see any. “May I?” She motioned to the drawer beside them on the workbench. James gave a non-committal grunt as Drea pulled the drawer open. She discovered a small field med kit under a gun and several ammunition clips.

She began cleaning and debriding close to the top of the burned area right under where she’d had to stop at the store. Drea was trying to be as careful and cause the least amount of extra pain possible, not just to spare James the pain but in case he had a bad reaction to someone inflicting pain on him. They had to take a couple of breaks just so they could both breathe. Drea used one of said breaks to find her way into the kitchen for a glass of water...and something to help calm her down. 

When she got back out to where James was sitting, she had to stop and take in the sight. She was almost done with cleaning his frankly extensive injury and, while the tension in the air was lifting the closer she was to completion, there was still an undercurrent of unease making her jumpy. 

“I won’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” James’s voice was barely above a whisper, pain lacing each word.

“Now how many serial killers have said that to their victims right before…” She mimicked a slicing motion across her throat before moving back to where she’d been working.

“I only hurt people who deserve it, and I can tell you don’t fit that bill.”

“Well, that depends on who you ask. But given the circumstances, I am doing my best impression of a nice person. Don’t tell anybody…” Drea mock whispered and added a wink for good measure. James stifled a laugh. Hey it was an improvement over stiff silence.

They chit-chatted while Drea finished cleaning and treating the burn, nothing too serious or personal. She even checked to make sure he didn’t have any broken bones under the bruises on his face.

“So… will I live? Or is my career as a male model over?” James teased as he walked towards what Drea had to guess was where he slept seeing as how it was the one part of the studio hidden by a divider.

“You’ll live but that bruise is gonna be vicious before it goes away. Also, you need to have someone clean that burn at least once a day until it’s healed.” She flopped down onto the overstuffed couch and was so glad it was as comfy as it looked. “I left the rest of the iodine and antibiotic cream over on the desk or workbench or whatever it is along with bactine. Don’t need to bandage it because burns heal better when the area can breathe. Also, there are some painkillers in there, even though you say you don’t need them. Better to have and not take than to need and not have.” She yawned and stretched, the fact that she’d been up since ridiculous o’clock catching up with her.

Drea must’ve dozed off because she felt a blanket carefully arranged around her. She stretched again, sat up, and looked around to find James on the far end of the couch watching her. She ducked her face under the corner of the blanket.

“Don’t gotta be shy… you were snuffling in your sleep just now. Was kinda cute.” James had changed into a loose fitting shirt and sweatpants. She grimaced at him. “Still cute.”

“ ‘m not cute. I’m sorry I fell asleep on your couch, but this is thing is like illegally comfortable and I’ve been up since an equally illegal time this morning.” She looked at the time on her phone. It was after midnight so too late for a pick me up. She groaned. “And I have to be back at work in less than twelve hours fuck my life.” Quickly ordering an Uber and blinking around to find her bag, Drea fought her way out of James’s stupidly comfy couch with a stretch.

“The least I can do is walk you out. Or maybe buy you coffee after work tomorrow, well, later today?” 

Drea watched him for any sign of pity or anything but she had a feeling he was being genuine so she did something she hadn’t done in over a year. “Yeah okay. Hanson’s Diner tomorrow, well technically tonight, eight thirty. If you can’t make it or something, text me.” She grabbed a scrap of paper from her bag & a pen and scribbled her number down.

James stayed with her, standing close when she started shivering a bit when the wind picked up, until her Uber pulled up. He even opened the car door for her, which was something she hadn’t had done for her since she left home. They smiled at each other as the car pulled away and, for the first time in longer than she could remember, her feeling of practically floating was not chemically produced.


	2. And then there was Steve...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so here's the thing...I'm not an EMT, never been an EMT. I'm not a nurse, either. So yeah I'm just winging it with certain things in this fic. I mean I have so many nurses as friends and have picked their brains multiple times on things for this fic but even then I'm bound to get some stuff wrong so suspend your disbelief and don't flay me alive?

They were up to date number four, spaced out over a varying amount of time between dates but James always called or texted when a couple of days passed and Drea was beginning to think she’d never see or hear from him again. Something had happened over in the city that had people stocking up on the most random items (toilet paper, peanut butter, and drink mix?). 

**_J: You staying sane? Because apparently New York isn’t._ **

**_D: Yeah just tired of the random ass crap that people are stocking up on. There’s been a run on coffee creamer and tissues. Is that a New York thing that I haven’t caught onto yet?_ **

**_J: No fucking clue, doll. Do me a favor and go straight home tonight? People really are being weird._**

Drea smiled at her phone. When he knew she was working late, James had started asking her to let him know she made it home okay. But it was to the point that he stopped asking because she did anyway. She had no idea what was going on across the river but it was bleeding over into her borough and she was just about done.

The later in her shift it got, the clearer it was that whatever had happened was over all except for the clean up and the constant news coverage. Drea hated the news so she tuned it out and started trying to zone the pharmacy and the aisles on either side of her little corner of the store when she heard the unmistakable sound of confusion.

“Since when are there so many kinds of bandages? I just need gauze, mecuricome, and something to take the place of stitches…” 

“Oh my God another one? What the hell…” Drea muttered as she walked down the aisle. “Also, mecuricome? Hasn’t been around in… well, since I was a tiny thing. You’re looking for betadine or an iodine wash, liquid bandage, and, well, here.” She found their largest and most well rounded first aid kit for the customer, who, when she got a good look at him, looked like she would expect the Greek God, Apollo, to look.

“Thank you, miss. I guess I’m still not used to...all of this.” He tipped his head at her with the most genuine smile she’d seen since James smiled at her last week.

“No problem. C’mon and I’ll ring you up in the pharmacy.” Drea led the way back through the maze of aisles towards her register.

“Uhh… what did you mean ‘another one’?” The blond leaned against the counter as Drea took the first aid kit to scan it.

“Oh, uhh, nothin’. Just wondering if there’s like an underground fight club in Brooklyn that I should know about is all. There’s been a run on first aid supplies in the evenings lately.” Drea smiled but the smile didn’t last long as she saw blood running down the guy’s side and onto the counter. “Holy shit, dude, you’re bleeding like crazy! Lemme call an ambulance…”

“No ambulance. No point in going to the hospital. I… wow okay I just need to sit down.” And by sit down, the guy apparently meant slide down the front of the counter to the floor.

“Aw hell… Kyle, I need a hand!” Drea ran to the other side of the counter and tried grabbing one of the mystery guy’s arms to pull him up… but he didn’t budge.

“What the shit?!” Kyle, the pharmacist on duty, came hauling ass up to the counter and stopped suddenly when he saw Drea and the near unconscious man on the floor.

“Less gawking and more helping, please. Just over to the waiting area and be careful on his left side because he’s got an injury of some type that was causing him to bleed onto the counter.” Drea adjusted to give Kyle room to add his upper body strength to maneuver the unconscious blond to the waiting area and into one of the chairs, barely.

“He needs a hospital. I’m calling an ambulance.” Kyle reached for his phone but Drea snatched it away before he could dial.

“He said no when I told him that so just… take this,” she handed him his phone back, “and I’m calling a taxi to get him back to my place so I can patch him up. Can you grab my bag please?”

Drea had the number of the taxi service on her favorites list in her phone. There are some things that Uber just won’t overlook and she could be pretty sure bleeding out in the backseat one of them. Besides, she had a 5 star rating to think about. 

It took Drea, Kyle, and 2 stockers to get muscle man into the taxi and she had no idea how she was gonna get him into her apartment. That problem somewhat solved itself when he came around on the way.

“Where…” He blinked and looked around the back of the taxi. “No offense, but how the hell did I end up in a cab?”

“Well, you were bleeding out all over the pharmacy and that tends to scare off the customers, so we’re on the way to my place since you didn’t seem too keen on the idea of going to the hospital.” Drea realized she was talking a mile a minute so she took a deep breath and motioned to the driver to let them out right in front of her building.

“Need some help getting your boyfriend inside?” The driver was eyeing them both carefully but Drea declined once she was sure mystery man could make it up a flight of stairs on his own.

“Sorry there’s no elevator, but I’m just up on two. Can you make it? Because, dude, there’s no way I can carry you.” Drea opened the door for him and motioned towards the staircase.

“Yeah… just gonna take my time.” The took the stairs slow so as not to exacerbate whatever injury blondie had. She motioned around the corner to her apartment and went to unlock the door so he wouldn’t have to just stand in the hall.

“Here, come sit over at the table. Where were you…” Drea grabbed a table light and her old EMT kit and dropped it on the table.

“Stabbed. Left side midway between my last rib and my waist.” He pulled his jacket off and pretty much the entire left side of his shirt under his arm was soaked in blood, down to the top of his jeans.

“Okay wow. This is gonna hurt like a bitch but I need to get a feel for how deep the wound is. If it’s too deep, you’re gonna need a doctor to rule out internal injuries.” Drea snapped on a pair of nitrile gloves and knelt down beside her latest patient.

“Thank you…”

“Oh name’s Drea. Now hold still and I’ll be as quick as I can, but try not to scream? My neighbors aren’t exactly thrilled with me already.” She started feeling around the stab wound, trying to palpate the depth. 

“Drea. Short for Andrea?”

“Nope. Cassandra. My Dad was big on Greek mythology.” Drea winced when she heard a sharp intake of breath. “Couldn’t stand being called Cassie or Sandy or Andy so Drea was the compromise I came up with. What do I call you?”

“Steve and jeez that hurt like a mother. Excuse my language.” Drea couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“I would if you used language that required an excuse. Okay good news is that this isn’t too deep. Bad news is that it’s gonna need stitches, which I am woefully out of practice doing, but it’s a little too deep for liquid bandage. You can take your chances with me or go to the ER and let a pro stitch you up.” She sat back and waited on Steve to make the rational decision to let her bundle him off to the ER.

“Can you do it? I really don’t like hospitals.” 

This was why Drea kept her EMT kit fully stocked, but she wasn’t used to stitches. She washed and cleaned the area before digging through her bag to find the suture kit. “I don’t have anything to deaden it so this really will hurt like a son of a bitch.”

“Anesthetics don’t really work on me anyway.”

She shook her head and smiled. He reminded her of James. “Okay well sit tight and I do have something that might take the edge off.” She yanked off the gloves, went to her bag, where she’d dropped it by the front door, and got her pillbox out. She grabbed two pills for Steve and three for her. They were for her nerves, she told herself, but she knew that was bullshit. “Here, hold these while I get you some water to wash them down.”

“Oh thank you but I really don’t need them.” But Drea gave him a fierce look and had Steve taking the offered pills anyway. She bounced into the kitchen, downed her pills dry, and grabbed a bottle of water out of her fridge for Steve, unscrewing the top as she went. Drea handed him the water and got a fresh pair of gloves on while he took the pills.

“So… wanna share how you got hurt?” Drea set about stitching Steve up. “Was I right about the fight club? Oh...or can you not talk about fight club…”

“Sorry, no fight club that I know about. I was helping out across the river with the evacuation.” Steve sat ramrod straight as Drea started the stitches.

“What evacuation?”

“There was a bomb in Grand Central, but it was located before detonation. It was all over the news...”

“Eh I tune out the news and, surprisingly, New Yorkers aren’t exactly a talkative bunch when they’re shopping. So why were you over in Manhattan, work?” She couldn’t remember when she’d last practiced stitches let alone had to do them on anything other than a pig’s foot but it was all coming back to her.

Steve chuckled and, when Drea shot him a look for moving, he looked down. “Sorry. And yeah you could say it was work. More like a volunteer thing.” 

“Mmmhmm…” was all the response she could muster. She was putting all her concentration into the stitches. The thread of conversation was spotty at best and Drea kept apologizing for not answering questions or just flat out ignoring Steve, who was being good about the whole thing.

After about ten minutes, Drea announced that she was done and put a dressing on the area. “Okay so don’t get that area wet. Don’t stretch too much because you’ll pop a stitch and that really does hurt. And no exercising because guys who look like you exercise even when hurt.” She stood up and started separating all the trash from her suture kit so she could put everything back after doing an inventory on what she needed to replace.

“Yes ma’am. Who knew that I’d find an actual nurse in the pharmacy.” Steve smiled and Drea felt her knees go weak.

“Not a nurse. Used to be an EMT and went to nursing school for a while but…” She shrugged. “I’m glad I was working or else Kyle, the pharmacist on tonight, would’ve just called an ambulance anyway and to hell with what you wanted.” She threw out the remnants of iodine swabs and used gauze pads and was fidgeting with her EMT bag when her phone vibrated.

J: Dropped by the store to check on you but they said you left. Everything okay?

Drea smiled and sighed. It was nice having someone worry about you.

D: Yeah I’m okay. Sorry I didn’t text you. Something came up but everything’s okay now. Thank you for worrying.

She looked up to find Steve shuffling back and forth from one foot to the other. “Oh my God I’m so sorry. First I ignore your attempts at small talk and now I’m just flat out ignoring you. Would you like something else to drink? I noticed you kind of inhaled the water. I have some juice or I could make coffee? Oh do you need another shirt? I might have one that will fit you...” Drea felt like smacking herself stupid as she went to find her stash of men’s shirts that one of her roomies left.

“You really don’t have to go to any trouble. I was actually thinking about asking you to dinner to say thank you, but it looks like you’re spoken for.” Drea could almost let herself believe that Steve sounded upset. She found a shirt that should fit Steve and took it back to the living room. 

“Here you go. And umm...actually he’s...we’re...well. It’s not like we’re dating dating. He’s just...well, more than a friend but we’re not exclusive so that’s a long way of saying that I would love to have dinner with you. I’m working overnights the next few nights but how about breakfast Friday? I’m off work at eight so, just to be on the safe side, let’s say nine at this place not far from the store, Pure Bistro? They have a fantastic breakfast. Here’s my number in case something comes up and you can’t make it.” She tore a page off the notepad she kept on the table and scribbled down her number. Drea turned around to see Steve shirtless and damn he was built. He grinned shyly as he carefully pulled the clean (God she hoped it was clean) shirt on. “Oh, umm, I would offer to give you a ride home but, well, I don’t have a car. I can call a cab for you?”

“That’s very nice of you but…”

“No buts, Steve. There aren’t usually taxi’s around here. Besides, I don’t want you walking and run the risk of pulling any of those exceptionally done stitches.” Drea gave him her serious smile and he put his hands up in mock surrender as she called the taxi service. This is why she had the number programmed as one of her favorites.

She walked Steve downstairs to wait on the cab, a smile on her face the whole time. She’d gone from terminally single to more dates than she’d had in over a year. As soon as he was in the cab, Drea raced back upstairs, a spring in her step and a smile plastered on her face. Her phone buzzed across the table as she walked into the room. The number was new but she knew immediately who the text was from.

**_Just thought you should have my number. Thank you again Drea. See you Friday._ **


	3. I Go Out Walkin'...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky takes a walk and thinks about Drea...

When Kyle, or as Drea called him “Obnoxious, uptight douche”, had said that Drea left in the midst of an emergency, the irrational part of Bucky’s brain went directly to the worst case scenario. The fact that she not only answered his text but reassured him that she was okay soothed his paranoia. Bucky let the cool weather wash over him as he walked, albeit briskly, back home.

Bucky wrestled with the idea of going over to Drea’s just to check on her. He’d wanted to make sure she got home safe the last time they went out. She’d let him drop her off at her apartment so he knew he could make it back over there...but he didn’t want to just drop in unannounced. Besides, they had a lunch date tomorrow…

A lunch date. Bucky had to chuckle to himself. Once upon a time, the only time of day that was considered respectable for a date was early evening, unless it was after church on Sundays. Besides, it was kind of hilarious that the former Winter Soldier, the Fist of Hydra, was going on a lunch date. It made him happy how preposterous the notion sounded because it meant he was more normal than, well, what he had been. But he’d done a lot to put his past behind him. Wanda had helped find all the triggers left by Hydra and it helped knowing he had a support system for when he had Bad Days.

Bucky almost had to call Steve in on his second date with Drea. They went to a pub and this guy would not take no for an answer. Drea kept assuring him she was okay and that she had the situation under control but Bucky had to excuse himself to go get some fresh air before he put his fist through the guy’s face. He got back inside to find that Drea had walked up to the guy all sexy like and kneed him in the balls so hard that he’d collapsed into the fetal position. Bucky didn’t question her ability to take care of herself again.

He flipped through the few pictures he’d taken of her and of the two of them on his phone. He really hadn’t been looking for anything like Drea that night he’d stumbled back into the Duane Reade. He’d just wanted to get the first aid stuff and get home but there was something about the brunette’s take no shit attitude that just wouldn’t be ignored. She definitely wasn’t like any of the girls he’d taken out...before. 

One thing Bucky had noticed was that she hadn’t forgotten what he’d told her about not liking people walking behind him or on his left side but she’d hadn’t mentioned it, either. Drea just seemed to take his quirks in stride, like the day they’d been in the park and a kid had screamed at the top of its lungs and Bucky was up and over the back of the park bench before he knew what he was doing. Drea held her hand out and had reassured him that it was just a baby having a bad day and had given him an understanding smile when he slowly made his way back around to sit beside her.

Bucky’s phone buzzed. He used to know exactly who was texting him because it would’ve only been Steve but not anymore.

**_S: Running late getting back. Had to make a pit stop for stitches._ **

**_B: Stitches?! I thought you were on comms ONLY…_ **

**_S: Nothing major. Just caught the sharp end of a piece of debris. No big._ **

Somedays, Bucky swore Steve would be the death of him eventually. He’d just gotten back to his Avenging duties after nearly being blown up down in DC courtesy of Victor Von Doom.

**_B: Do you need anything? I’m still in the vicinity of Duane Reade…_ **

**_S: Nah I’m good. See you at home._ **

No sooner had Bucky put his phone back in his pocket but it started ringing again. 

Drea.

“Hey. You okay? What’s up?” Bucky stopped practically in mid-stride.

“I’m fine, James. I just...well I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want to hear from you earlier or anything so I figured I’d call and tell you thank you for stopping at the store to check on me, even though I wasn’t there.” She sounded relaxed, which was unusual since she was usually annoyed after work.

“You sure about that? You sound...different.” Bucky sat down on top of a low wall. He could hear her fumbling with something in the background.

“I haven’t had somebody care enough about me to come check on me in a really long time is all. I forgot how that feels.” She was quiet and her accent was really coming out which, Bucky had learned, meant she wasn’t used to being so honest. And that she was tired.

“Well better get used to it, doll. Because when what’s his face told me you’d left because of an emergency, my first instinct was to rush over to your place to check on you.” That was a lie. Bucky’s first instinct was to try and track her phone or call Natasha and ask her to do it.

“You’re so sweet, James. I swear I don’t know why you’re so sweet to me.”

Because you make me smile like only one other person alive...is what Bucky wanted to say but he settled with, “Because you deserve it. Now get some rest and I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” Bucky was walking again, making a decent pace home.

“You got it, darlin. Have a good night.” And she hung up, leaving Bucky fighting to hide the stupid grin that usually found its way on to his face after talking to Drea, let alone seeing her. The lights of Brooklyn dimmed the closer he got to home but he still had a skip in his step like he hadn’t in 70 something years.


	4. A Very Important Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates are very important and Steve really wants to make a good second impression...

Steve got to the restaurant early out of habit. He’d gotten up early, gone for a run, cleaned up around the apartment, checked on Bucky (bad night meant he was holed up downstairs), and ran out of things to keep him from leaving for his date. He considered getting flowers but figured that was more a night time date thing so he made a mental note to bring flowers to their next date. Well, that’s assuming that he didn’t completely fall on his face during this one.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You sound like hell, and that’s being charitable.” Drea’s voice carried, prompting Steve to turn around. “I’m meeting someone for breakfast but, if you need me, call. Promise me. Okay. Bye.” She dropped her cell phone into her jacket pocket and looked up at Steve.

“Good morning.” Steve didn’t even try to hide his smile, which, for some reason, made Drea chuckle. “What’s so funny? Did I miss a spot of toothpaste on my mouth?”

She shook her head and smiled. “No you’re...perfect. Well I mean you LOOK perfect. And a morning person apparently. Fair warning I had a shit night at work so I can’t promise I’m the best company. Actually, I maybe should’ve cancelled…” She scrubbed her hands over her face and stretched her back in an arch.

When she didn’t uncover her face, Steve playfully tapped on one of her hands until she dropped them. “I’m used to being around not morning people who have bad nights so I don’t mind if you don’t?” He held out his arm for her, which she took and they went into the restaurant to find a table.

“How’s the injury? Please tell me you haven’t popped a stitch yet…” Drea mock pleaded once they ordered and were seated.

“Oh it’s...doing much better. But I had an excellent EMT so…” Steve smiled and sipped his water. “So you had a shit night at work? What happened, or would you rather not…”

Drea finished swallowing the pills she’d popped into her mouth, rinsing them down with her orange pineapple juice. “No it’s okay. Umm...well had a shoplifter so had to call the cops, which always takes forever on third. Our main third shift manager called out sick which means he was probably in Atlantic City again so the second shift manager had to cover, which made him so very lovely to deal with all night. The not really new anymore but I still refer to him as new pharmacist is just a pig. Practically every time I bend over it’s almost like I feel his eyes on me and, sadly, I can’t knee him in the balls the way I normally do guys who creep me out like that. To end the night, our med delivery is probably not coming in today but thankfully it’s non-essential meds.” Drea could see the somewhat confusion on Steve’s face. “It’s nothing that could be considered life threatening if we’re out of it for a day. Meds like insulin, antibiotics, inhalers, and some heart medications fall into the life threatening category while gout medicine or some topical antifungals aren’t.” She sipped her juice.

“And the phone call when you were walking up?” Steve almost didn’t bring that up but she seemed genuinely worried when she walked up to him.

“Oh. That. Well, a friend had a really bad night last night and swung by to see me around the time we had the shoplifter. When he heard the cops were on their way he split and I didn’t hear from him the rest of the night. So I called as soon as I was out the door to check. He said he’s going to try to take it easy, which is not in his skill set, and get some sleep.” Drea’s voice got a bit softer and Steve really felt like kicking himself for mentioning it.

“I didn’t mean to pry. You just seemed a little...upset so I wanted to make sure everything was okay, especially once you mentioned your night.”

Drea sat back and looked at him. “You weren’t prying. You overheard part of a conversation and were concerned. Not many people would care past any potential for it to impact them. I think it’s sweet.” She bit her lip as she smiled and Steve felt himself blushing. “Saved by the food!” Drea’s voice sing-songed as two of the wait staff brought their orders. “I cannot believe you got the country omelette AND the pancakes. My grandma would’ve loved you.” She delicately cut into her French toast.

“I have kind of a high metabolism so I have to eat an insane amount of calories.” Steve re-positioned plates so they had room.

“Man you guys have it so easy.” Steve’s head snapped up. “It takes some effort to look like this. And by this,” she motioned at her face, “I don’t mean the under-eye bags and splotchy skin. I mean when I’m all done up. But you? I bet you rolled outta bed lookin’ like that.” She took a bite of her breakfast but Steve shook his head, chuckling.

“Actually, I was up at six this morning and had to fight the urge to go for a run so I cleaned up around my apartment to burn off nervous energy and time.” Steve decided he’d leave out the part where he actually had gone for a run and dove into the omelette. He barely kept a moan from escaping. Drea nodded enthusiastically.

Breakfast passed amid some of the best conversation Steve could remember having. He learned that Drea was an only child who’d moved to New York after her parents died. She’d moved with a boyfriend who split not long after they got to the city.

“Thank God for my EMT training and those couple of months of nursing school. I think if they could, the manager at Duane Reade who interviewed me would’ve hired me on the spot just based on the fact that I knew my way around the pharmacy. So I had enough saved to find a cheaper place and proceeded to have the first in a long list of roommates who were more trouble than they were worth. Thankfully, I make enough at Duane Reade and as a tutor to afford the apartment I have now.” She smiled and Steve was, again, in awe.

“Well, that guy was clearly an idiot for walking out on a woman like you. But hey you made it in spite of him and I think that’s damned impressive.” Steve raised his almost empty smoothie. “To making the best of new situations.”

Steve tried to talk Drea into letting him see her home but she was adamant so he relented, insisting, instead, to wait with her until her ride showed up.

“Cassandra?” The driver asked and Drea nodded yes before stepping closer to Steve.

“I had a wonderful time. Thank you for cheering me up.” 

“Thank you for the company.” Steve looked down and knew she was angling for him to kiss her, which he did...on the cheek. “Let me know you get home okay?” She smiled up at him and nodded yes before stepping back towards the car. He stepped around her and held the door of the sedan open for her, closing it after her, and waiting until the car, and Drea, were out of sight.


	5. In The Blue of My Oblivion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time apart can be good or it can be bad. But it means Drea has time on her hands and that's not always a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags in this chapter. Just a heads up.

Going from not a single date in over a year to dating two men simultaneously was exhausting but in a very good way. And it was something that Drea was enjoying...for the most part. Steve spent a weird amount of time out of town with “work” and James...well, he wouldn’t say why he was really travelling. The current trip was to help a friend with a big project. Neither man really called that often when they were gone but there were text messages and the occasional email. Drea was used to spending her downtime with one of her guys but, when they were out of town, she was kind of scrambling for things to occupy her time...and her mind.

Her tutoring gig was relatively dead at the moment mainly because her students were doing internships so that was no help. She didn’t dare go out clubbing or bar-hopping by herself. She knew all too well the potential dangers there and she didn’t really get along with any of the women she worked with well enough to want to spend time with them outside of work. So she was left with watching whatever caught her fancy on TV or Netflix, which never kept her occupied for long, or cleaning, which sometimes left her manic but that was easily managed. Well, sort of.

She was in the midst of scrubbing the tile of her kitchen when she got a Skype call notification on her cell. James.

“Well this is an unexpected surprise.” She sat her phone up against the backsplash and turned on another light in the kitchen to make sure he could see her in the darkened apartment...wait, when did it get dark?

“Well I was thinking about you and thought I’d see how you’re doing.” Drea could see his head was resting against the headboard of a bed but that was all. “Are you okay? You look...frazzled? I think that’s the word I’m looking for…”

She kept glancing back and forth between her phone and one stubborn stain. “No yeah I’m good. Fucking hell what is this?!”

“Drea, what’s going on? What do you keep looking at off screen?” She could hear the shift of emotion in James’s voice and immediately realized she’d spoken that outloud.

“Oh honey it’s fine. I’m in the midst of a cleaning frenzy. Sorry darlin....” Drea stopped scrubbing the tiles and turned her entire attention to her phone. “Hi sweetheart…”

“Hey there. So...what’s with the sudden urge to clean?” James was moving somewhere but she couldn’t see where.

“Well...boredom and I don’t exactly mix. I tend to get...destructive...when I’m alone with my thoughts for too long.” Drea took the phone over to her kitchen table, keeping the it at an angle where James could see her whole face. She really didn’t want to go into more detail but she also didn’t want to outright lie to James so she was being cautious in her word choice.

“Believe it or not, I know exactly how that goes. So how has work been?”

Drea exhaled dramatically. “It’s been work. Obnoxious, uptight douche is about to get on my last damned nerve but what else is new. No more shoplifters thankfully. Umm I might be getting a promotion but it depends on my review…”

His face broke out into the sweetest grin. “That’s terrific, doll! When did you find this out?”

She ducked her face to hide the blush spreading across it. “The day you left, actually. They want a non-pharmacist manager to do the managerial stuff so the pharmacists can concentrate on pharmacist stuff. I still have to get through my review but yeah I’m really happy about it.” 

“When is your review? How long are we talking here?”

“Ugh. We get reviews yearly and mine is in three more agonizingly long months.” She let her head fall back in dramatic fashion and was rewarded with a chuckle.

“It’ll be here before you know it.”

“Will you?” Drea didn’t realize the words had left her mouth until she heard James sigh.

“I’ll be back soon. This project is almost wrapped up. And when I’m back, we’re gonna go all out. Fancy dinner, all dressed up...anywhere you want, doll. Just say the word.”

It was Drea’s turn to sigh. Most girls would do anything to have a man say that to them, especially one as wonderful as James, but she wasn’t most girls. The thought of all those people silently judging her had Drea reaching for her pillbox. “Ya know...I’d be happy to just order in and see what we could find to get up to just the two of us.” There was a low wolf whistle from somewhere off-screen that had James waving somebody off and doing a fair bit of blushing himself. He was moving again and, from the little bit of the room she could see, it looked like he’d locked himself in the bathroom. “Was it something I said that made it necessary for you to excuse yourself?” She batted her eyes playfully and James laughed dryly.

“You’re gonna be a handful, aren’t ya? You’re killin’ me here with that grin and your tongue peeking out.” 

She was about to say something if not X-rated then not far off when there was a banging off screen and a female voice. “James, just got the word. Let’s go!”

Drea straightened up and she felt her face fall to a neutral look as she cleared her throat. “Well I guess I should let you go. Sounds like you have...plans.” And without waiting for James to make up an explanation or say anything, Drea hit the disconnect button on Skype.

Drea woke up slumped on the kitchen floor, her pillbox empty, and a seemingly endless number of missed Skype calls and text messages from James. She deleted all the text messages without reading them and cleared out the missed Skype calls. Glancing at the date and time on her phone for longer than two seconds made Drea groan even more. She’d missed work. She called the store quickly and begged off because of a stomach bug. Angel, the manager on duty, actually thanked her for not coming in and told her to rest. That wasn’t the most difficult call she had on her plate. She was supposed to have lunch with Steve.

**_D: Hate to cancel on such short notice but I just woke up after being sick all night. Don’t wanna pass any germs onto you._ **

**_S: Are you okay? Do you need anything?_ **

**_D: I’ll be okay eventually. Right now I just wanna take a hot shower and go back to sleep. I’ll text you later okay?_ **

**_S: Okay. Hope you feel better soon, sweetheart._ **

Drea momentarily felt guilty for lying to him but she really wasn’t in the right headspace to deal with anyone or, more to the point, inflict herself on the outside world. She wasn’t lying about the hot shower and going back to sleep. The shower was accomplished in short order followed by Drea face-planting in the bed just as James’s text tone went off.

**_J: Please let me know you’re okay. I’ve tried calling on Skype and just on the phone. I’ve sent I don’t know how many text messages. I’m just worried about you._**

That message got deleted, too. The good thing about living alone was that nobody heard when you cried yourself to sleep. The bad thing was that nobody came rushing to see about you when you did that, either.


	6. In Which Bucky Does Not Sulk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn't sulk...except that he completely and absolutely does. And Steve comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. Sorry not really sorry.

Bucky slammed the door behind him, earning him The Look from Steve. He just scowled and made his way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to slam things around wordlessly. 

“You’re back early. I take it things didn’t go well?” Steve kept his voice neutral.

“I wouldn’t know. I left before we were done.” He somehow made slamming the loaf bread down on the counter seem threatening. “Steve...you know I told you about the girl I was seeing?” Steve nodded. “Well I think I fucked up and now she won’t even return a text.” He leaned back against the counter and dropped his chin to his chest.

“What happened?” Steve decided to spare the rest of the kitchen contents and went to take over sandwich making duties, moving Bucky out of his way with a hip check.

“Well...we were on Skype and she was being all cute when…” He sighed but didn’t say anything else. The metaphorical light bulb went off over Steve’s head.

“What did Nat do?” He slathered butter on all sides of the bread before dropping two kinds of cheeses onto all four pieces of bread and popping the first two into the toaster oven.

“Oh my God Steve...I was hiding in the bathroom because, well, Things were about to happen when Nat pounded on the door and told me it was time to go. After that? Nada. She was all ‘sounds like you have plans’ and now refuses to even let me know if she’s okay despite not hearing ANYTHING from her for almost forty eight hours. How do I get her to talk to me?” Bucky was absolutely not whining and Steve was absolutely not giving him a sympathy hug.

Steve moved back to the counter to get 2 pieces of now hot cheesy bread out of the toaster oven and the next 2 into it but didn’t say a word. “I don’t know, Buck. If I did, maybe I could get my girl to speak to me. All I’ve gotten were short responses to my texts after she told me she was sick midday yesterday.” He plated the sandwich and handed it back to Bucky before turning his attention back to the toaster oven to retrieve what would become his sandwich.

“And I thought dames were difficult when we were kids. They don’t hold a candle to the ones today.” Bucky was talking with his mouthful and he absolutely did not care.


	7. A Walk In The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a reason Drea doesn't get out much...and this is the very reason. Bad things happen in the outdoors.

Drea was trying to distract herself from quite frankly how miserable she felt by roaming around Trinity Park after work. She was avoiding Steve because he reminded her so much of James, who she was also avoiding...actually, ignoring would be a better word. She didn’t usually come to the park unless it was spring or summer but nature in fall did hold a certain appeal. However, she also used going to the park to meet a friend for a much needed restock and was done when she saw, of all the people in all of Brooklyn, James. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week...and was walking with a petite redhead in that way that people who have history walk. They bumped into each other playfully and shared sly, private smiles between them. Drea felt like she was going to be sick and it got worse the closer they got. She tried to quietly get up and walk the other way but proceeded to trip over nothing and practically faceplant into the concrete.

“Drea!” She heard James call her name at the same time she heard his heavy footfalls in the nearly empty park. Drea scrambled to get up and get away but her body didn’t want to move as quickly as her brain wanted it to. By the time she was upright, James was within arm’s reach, and, while he was reaching out to her, he respected her boundaries enough not to actually touch her without express permission. She stood as still as she could manage but refused to look up at his face. “Are you okay? That fall looked like it hurt…”

“I’m fine.” Her voice came out in a hiss.

“You’re bleeding and you tore your jeans. C’mon and sit down so we can get you cleaned up.” James motioned for her to sit down on the bench she’d just vacated.

“Don’t you have a date to get back to?” She saw him flinch at the venom in her voice and part of her regretted her tone. Then she caught sight of the redhead walking up behind James and that changed.

“Everything okay? Nasty looking fall…” The redhead seemed concerned and that concern just pissed Drea off even more.

“I’m. Fine. I’ll leave you to your...friend.” Drea went to walk away but she almost fell again when a sharp pain shot up her thigh from her knee. “Son of a bitch why me?!”

“Drea please...let me look at your scrapes and maybe explain?” He was carefully and slowly trying to direct her back to the bench so Drea let him. She even let herself look him in the eye and the raw emotion she saw there made her feel worse. “Nat I’ll see you later. Give Clint my best.” He tossed over his shoulder to the redhead and then his attention was focused solely on Drea. “Nothing too terrible. Your jeans, I think, have had it if that huge rip in the leg is any indication. Lemme see your hands.”

“You don’t have to do this. I’ll be fine.” She hissed in pain when she reached into her bag for her new, and bigger, pillbox. The metal was cold but almost soothing on her abraded palm. James took the box away and opened it for her. She grabbed a pill and dry swallowed it before quickly grabbing the box back, closing it, and tossing it back into her bag.

“I know I don’t have to but I want to. It’s my fault you were trying to rush off and fell.” He took a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and dusted the dirt and debris off her palms. “And I wasn’t on a date. Nat’s just a friend from way back. She’s the friend I had to help out of town. Her fiance was...having problems...with some old friends.”

“Fiance?”

“Yeah for close to a year now. No idea what the hold up on the wedding is but hey they’re happy so…” James sat back and began to fiddle with the now partially bloodstained cloth. Drea felt like the dirt that he’d cleaned out of her wounded hands.

“I just thought...I mean you’re so secretive about the projects that have you going out of town and, well…” She gestured between the two of them.

“What? What was that gesture?”

She sighed an exasperated sigh. “James you’re so far out of my league it’s not even funny. I mean somebody like me has no business even thinking about dating somebody like you.”

“Why not? You’re smart, funny, talented, successful in your chosen field...and not to mention a knockout…”

“Okay reel in the make believe there buddy. I’m sorta smart, sarcastic, not funny, and successful? I work in retail and not even in management. I’m pudgy, not very athletic, and working on way too many tattoos whereas you are tall, dark, and broodingly gorgeous. That right there should disqualify me from dating you.” 

James wasn’t looking at her. This was not a good sign in Drea’s opinion. So they sat in silence, the ambient noise of the park all around them, until James cleared his throat. “I’m no great catch, Drea. I’m moody, secretive, have issues with large groups of people, and just have trust issues in general. And those are only the things you know about. There are so much more shit that, if you knew, would have you running for the proverbial hills.” His voice was soft but there was an undercurrent that she couldn’t quite figure out. It wasn’t self-pity or loathing...it almost sounded like a grim sense of reconciling himself to his fate.

“Try me?” Drea carefully slid closer to him and was relieved when he held his arm out for her to press up next to him. She tucked her head into the junction of his neck and shoulder and was rewarded when he dropped a kiss onto the top of her head.


	8. Forgive and Forget?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologizing to Steve is easy right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another ridiculously short chapter (but the next chapters make up for that)

Squaring things with Steve wasn’t that easy thanks to work calling him out of town again. Drea texted him and emailed him but didn’t hear anything for a couple of days. Not for the first time she wished she knew where he lived so she could casually drop by to see if he was back but ignoring her. Ooh or Steve had mentioned having a roommate so she could grill the roommate for info.

She was metaphorically dragging herself back to her apartment when she saw an all too familiar motorcycle in front of her building. All of her annoyance with the day and her life just melted away knowing Steve was probably waiting for her either in the lobby of the building or maybe even next to her door. Drea let the adrenaline coursing through her take over and ran the few steps to the door but didn’t see Steve in the lobby as she tore through the door. 

“Hey there…” His voice drifted over to her from the stairs. Drea willed the tears threatening to spill down her face to hold off as she stopped short in front of him. “I was about to head upstairs. I think I’m making people nervous.”

“Nah...they’re busy wondering why anybody would keep you waiting.” She stepped into his personal space and threw her arms around him. “I was so worried you’d never speak to me again.” Drea whispered into his neck and felt those traitorous tears slide down her face. She gasped when she felt him pick her up and start walking up the stairs.

“Now why would I do something stupid like that? Just because you needed space doesn’t mean I’m gonna forget about you.” Steve sat her back on her feet right in front of her front door and leaned against the wall. Drea unlocked the door quickly and pulled Steve inside.


	9. Two Supersoldiers Walk Into A Diner...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky go on a date...but they can't just have a quiet date, can they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of violence in this chapter but it's not horribly graphic. You can skip this chapter entirely or, if you'd rather, skip the mid-section of the chapter from where you see the line: "Dinner went reasonably well." Then you can pick back up at "Where are you hurt?!" and you'll have missed the violent bits.

“So how did you hear about this place?” Steve asked as they walked towards the diner.

“I, uh, well I’ve been on a couple of dates here lately. It’s her favorite place to eat when she’s either worked early or midshift. You don’t mind, do you?” Bucky stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He hadn’t considered that Steve might not want to go someplace Bucky had been on a date with somebody else.

“That you’re dating a woman? No. That you’ve found a great diner and haven’t taken me there for a date yet? Maybe.” Steve winked and Bucky relaxed. “Truth? You know that restaurant we had breakfast at the other morning? I’ve been there with my girl a couple of times. So we’re even.” Steve bumped his shoulder playfully into Bucky’s and got a chuckle and gentle shove in return as they started walking again.

“So no weird Catholic guilt about being with me and still dating dames?” 

“Okay one, I’m only dating one woman. And two...surprisingly no. Only that she doesn’t know about you.” Steve watched out of the corner of his eye to see if a disapproving look appeared on Bucky’s face. He was not so silently relieved when it didn’t. “So your’s doesn’t know about me either?” Bucky shook his head no.

“Think we should come clean to them?” The brunet was fidgeting slightly. Steve didn’t comment. “Well, if nothing else, I want you to meet her.”

“Yeah me too.” 

Dinner went reasonably well. Steve couldn’t decide what he wanted to order so Bucky ended up ordering for them. Then came desert...and a wannabe criminal tried to rob the place.

“Everybody stay down and nobody gets hurt! You,” the kid, who couldn’t be 20 if he was a day, yelled at the girl behind the register, “empty the register!”

The two of them were laying on the floor pressed shoulder to ankle. Bucky glanced at Steve to, hopefully, make sure the punk was just gonna let this one go and give a description to the cops. No such luck. “Stevie...don’t do anything too stupid!” He hissed, trying to keep his voice down.

“Hey you wanna pick on somebody who’s not afraid of you?!” Steve jumped up and walked towards the robber.

“You wanna get back on the floor before I pump your guts full of lead?” The kid puffed out his chest and tried to go toe to metaphorical toe with Steve. The girl sobbed as she filled a plastic bag with everything that was in the register and flung it at their assailant. When Steve saw the kid get distracted by the money, he lunged for him, trying to knock the gun away. Bucky saw a heavy set guy from a couple of booths away run towards the struggling pair and realized, by the way the guy carried himself, he wasn’t going to help Steve. He was helping the robber. 

“Fuck’s sake…” He muttered to himself before launching himself off the floor and into the path of the accomplice. They grappled, the guy no match for Bucky’s metal arm, but he managed to get a couple of thrusts in with a knife Bucky never clocked. Pain shot down his right arm and he looked down to see the hilt of a knife sticking out of his shoulder. He was about to give the guy a smart remark about bringing a knife to a gunfight when he heard a gunshot. Bucky reached out with his left arm and flung the guy back towards the booth he came from and was dimly aware of the guy’s skull making a sickening crack when it met the wall. Bucky strode purposefully to where Steve had the robber locked in a chokehold and punched the kid square in the face, leaving him unconscious but alive as he slid out of Steve’s hold.

“Where are you hurt?!” Bucky was frantically looking for an entry wound until he saw blood spreading across Steve’s leg. He reached down to check for an exit wound and pain bloomed from his shoulder. Bucky reached up and jerked the knife out, leaving it to clatter on the floor and knelt down to check Steve’s leg. There was an exit wound so it was just a through and through. He became aware of Steve saying the very same thing to him.

“I’m okay, Buck. But the police are on their way so…” Steve grabbed a towel off the counter and used it to staunch the blood flowing out of his leg.

“I would insist on the hospital but…”

“It’s not bad enough for a hospital, Buck. Besides, I’ll be fine.” They maneuvered themselves out of the diner and into an alley where they wouldn’t draw too much attention. It didn’t matter that Bucky knew he’d be fine...the highly irrational part of his brain wanted a medical professional or at least someone with medical training to make sure there was no shrapnel in the gunshot wound.

“I have an idea. C’mon.”


	10. And It Comes Out Here...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who do Steve and Bucky go to when they don't want to bother going to a hospital? That's easy...they're local Duane Reade to see their (unbeknownst to them until now) mutual girlfriend. Boys, you got some explaining to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mention of drug and alcohol use at the end of the chapter.

“Hey Laura...remind me again how and why the paperwork has piled up?” Drea called over her shoulder to the head pharmacist.

“Because nobody likes paperwork of any kind so I have to do everybody else’s and mine which leaves me very little time to do the department’s. Besides you love it.” A cup of coffee appeared on the desk in front of her and Drea smiled. 

“Well there are perks. Sign these three and initial the other two and we’re done for another couple of weeks.” She leaned back in the chair, sipped her coffee, and enjoyed the relative silence of the pharmacy. It was rarely ever this quiet during this time of day. Usually, people were stopping in on their way home from work, hurriedly picking up prescriptions or cold medication but not today. 

“Holy. Shit.” Laura exclaimed behind her but Drea didn’t move. Laura routinely made that exclamation over either a really cute customer or when something on the in-house TV caught her attention.

“You go sit down. Just no lip okay? Sit.” She heard someone that sounded just like James from the counter area.

“James?” Drea stood up, stretching as she walked and smiled when she saw him leaning slightly over the counter. “Laura, don’t stare. You’ve met James.”

“Yeah but how does your boyfriend know Captain America?” Laura motioned over to the waiting area...where Steve waved with the hand that wasn’t holding what appeared to be a makeshift tourniquet on his thigh.

“What are you talking about? What is she talking about?” Drea looked from her coworker to one of her boyfriends to the other one and back.

“Hi Drea.” Steve called and Bucky’s head whipped around.

“How do you know her?!”

“Steve why are you bleeding in our waiting area?” Drea couldn’t keep the edge of anger out of her voice as she walked around from behind the counter to check the tourniquet on Steve’s leg.

“Uhh…”

“Wait...you’re Bucky Barnes aren’t you? Oh my God you are! I knew I knew you from somewhere and now I know!” Laura was apparently having some sort of revelation behind her but Drea focused on gently lifting the tourniquet and examining the hole below it.

“You and hospitals, huh. Hang on and I’ll grab my bag. Laura is it…” Drea stood up and walked back towards the office but Laura pulled her the rest of the way.

“How can you be going out with Bucky Barnes?!” Laura hissed and Drea jerked away like Laura has spit acid at her. “I mean I thought he and Steve Rogers were...you know...a couple? From like the war and stuff.”

“What did you mean Captain America? Steve’s not an Avenger. He’s just…”

“Always travelling for work to places he won’t tell you about? Incredibly strong and heals from things ridiculously fast? Yeah that’s because he’s Captain America and you’re somehow dating him and his boyfriend.” Laura perched on the desk and fiddled with her phone until she found what she was looking for and held it out to Drea to see.  


****

**Captain America: Beyond The Shield  
Steve Rogers on life, love, and what the future holds**

Drea skimmed through the article until one line in particular caught her eye. “Rogers acknowledges that his involvement with SHIELD founder Peggy Carter wasn’t just an act saying, ‘Peggy and I cared deeply for each other. I guess you could say we were a couple. But so were Bucky and I. I had two great loves during the war, Peg and Bucky.’ When asked to clarify, the self proclaimed kid from Brooklyn simply says, ‘There wasn’t a word for it then but there is now. I’m bisexual and always have been.’”

The office fell into a weird silence as Drea handed Laura her phone back. Steve and James...no, Bucky...not only knew each other but were a couple themselves? She could feel her heartbeat in her ears and had to fight to keep her breathing steady. “Okay so I need a favor. I need to cut out early and deal with this.” She grabbed her purse and headed back to the waiting area while calling for a cab.

“Drea…” Bucky reached out for her arm but she stopped and glared at him. He backed off and made some kind of motion at Steve.

“Come on. Cab should be here soon so we can get back to my place and lemme look at the both of you. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you’re favoring your right arm, James.” Her voice was ice and neither Bucky nor Steve could really blame her. Bucky went to give Steve a hand standing up and followed where Drea had stomped out of the store. 

The cool air of the early evening hit her, cooling her overheated face. She reached into her purse for her pillbox and grabbed 3 pills out of it and the bottle of water beside it. She popped the pills in her mouth and took a long pull from the bottle. All she wanted to do was disappear to deal with the fact that her boyfriends were dating each other and, not only that, but that Steve was some sort of superhero. What did that make James or Bucky or whatever the hell his name is? And they’ve both been around since World War 2? Drea felt like her head was spinning and she had no focal point to keep steady. She wanted to reach for her pillbox again but she knew if she did that, she’d down every last one. So she waited for the cab and steeled herself against her boyfriends’ presence when they joined her outside.

Nobody spoke as they waited for the cab. Nobody spoke in the cab, save for Drea giving the driver her address. She could see out of the corner of her eye that both men started to say something but one glance at her seemingly halted the attempts. She hugged herself and forced her mind to focus on the back of the driver’s seat.

Drea didn’t acknowledge their existence until they were in her apartment. She grabbed her neglected yoga mat, laid it on the floor, & directed Steve to lay down while she directed Bucky to sit in a chair by the table next to where Steve was laying down. She grabbed her EMT kit and efficiently cut the leg of Steve’s jeans so she had access to the wound on his leg.

“Drea I don’t need…” Steve protested when she started suturing the gunshot closed after cleaning it thoroughly but stopped when he felt her be less than gentle with the stitches. Drea still didn’t speak as she finished the sutures on both sides of Steve’s leg or as she went over to where Bucky was sitting near the table.

“Jacket off,” was the only thing she said as she waited for Bucky to take his jacket off. Once he did, she tore away the sleeve of the t-shirt he was wearing so she could wash and stitch that injury as well. 

In the absence of talking, the sounds around them accentuated the silence. Cars driving, horns blowing, even people in the building walking around all while the icy silence filled Drea’s apartment. Drea was about as gentle stitching Bucky up as she had been with Steve (which was not at all) but Bucky, like Steve had done, sat quietly and endured the sharp jerks and stabs until she was done. 

Drea tossed everything back into her bag and went into the kitchen for her emergency stash of vodka, forgoing a glass in favor of turning the bottle up. After 2 or 3 pulls on the bottle, she put it back in her freezer and went to get a shirt for Bucky and sweatpants for Steve.

“Now, while I’m somewhat calm, which one of you is going to explain this,” she motioned in an arc to the three of them, “so as not to annoy me or make me feel like an idiot?” She tossed them their respective item of clothing and perched on the back of the sofa to wait. The silence stretched on. “Okay well somebody talk or y’all can get the fuck out because…”

“What do you want us to say? Yes Steve & I know you. No we didn’t know the other one was dating you.” Bucky’s voice was tight and strained. He wanted Drea to look at him but knew she wouldn’t. She was too upset.

“But you two...Laura said you were...and that article. Steve said in that article…” Drea hated that she was stammering trying to say the word ‘couple’ or ‘together’ or some other synonym for dating.

“Without knowing exactly which article you read, I don’t know exactly what I was quoted as saying. But, in answer to the general question you’re trying to ask, Bucky and I have been a couple since we were teenagers.” Steve maneuvered himself onto one of the kitchen chairs while he spoke. He heard somebody sigh but couldn’t tell if it came from Drea or Bucky. He looked over to Bucky, who honestly looked like he’d kicked a puppy by accident.

“So I’ve been, what, a way for you two to get women out of your system? A joke? Hahaha look at the stupid hick who doesn’t know she’s dating a national icon and his boyfriend?” There were tears in her words as she looked from the floor out the window just to give her mind something else to focus on.

“Drea please…”

“It’s nothing…” Bucky and Steve spoke at once but she wasn’t listening.

“Because God I wondered how I had a chance with either of you! Jesus look at me. I’m almost thirty, overweight, covered in tattoos, work in a dead end retail job…” Drea sniffled on, hating herself for crying in front of them but past the point of bothering to wipe the tears away.

“Cassandra!” Bucky’s voice was loud in the relative silence of the apartment and shock at her full name turned her head towards him more than the tone. When he saw the tears streaming down her face, he was up and kneeling in front of her in a nanosecond. “Please just listen okay? You’re not a joke nor are you a way for either of us to, how did you put it?”

“Get women out of our systems,” Steve moved to the far side of the couch Drea was perched on the back of.

“Right...that. Honey it was nothing like that. Steve an’ me...yeah we’ve been together since we were teenagers but there were always dames…”

“‘Cept for me,” Steve muttered, a touch of bitterness to his tone.

“Except for you, until Carter saw what I did. The two a’ you made me see red.” Now it was Bucky’s voice that had an edge of bitterness.

“Hey you weren’t left out for long…” 

“Okay and what has this stroll down memory lane got to do with me?” Drea snapped. Listening to them banter and talk about their past with such...loving...detail was slowly killing her.

“Because, while we didn’t know who the other one was dating, we knew we were each dating someone. You weren’t a secret or anything like that. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” Steve slid microscopically closer to Drea but Bucky stayed on his knees in front of her.

“In fact, we’d planned on making introductions. I was gonna surprise both of you by stopping at the store after dinner. Guess the universe took that surprise outta my hands. Well, the universe and that punk who decided to rob Hanson’s while we were having dinner.” Bucky looked up into Drea’s eyes. They were watery and tears still slowly fell down her face.

“You stopped a robbery?! Jesus no wonder you’re both in shit shape. Any other injuries I need to look at?” Drea got up and went towards her discarded medical kit but was stopped by two hands on her arm.

“We’re fine. Or we’ll be fine in a few hours. Accelerated healing…” Steve gingerly stretched his leg as Bucky started moving his right arm slowly. Drea watched both of them. She told herself that it was to watch for any signs of injuries not confessed but it wasn’t. She just loved the way they each moved. Steve moved with a gentle deliberateness whereas Bucky moved almost like a cat, every motion was fluid and graceful. She couldn’t help the smile that slowly spread across her face.

When she saw the questioning looks on their faces, she shook her head. “No I was just marveling at how alike but so different you both are. I, uhh, I actually thought you’d hit it off as friends because of how similar you are. Maybe on some level I did know.” She leaned against the wall and watched her boyfriends. 

“So the question is...now what?” Bucky asked but no response came. He looked at Steve, who was looking back and forth from Drea to himself. Drea was looking at the floor again.

“Well I think you should both get those bloody clothes off and into the clean ones I gave you...and then go home.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She didn’t trust herself to try and speak louder in case the strength she had been feeling fled.

“Doll...come on…”

“No, James, I need time to think. And so do y’all. And we can’t do either under the same roof.” Drea walked into the kitchen for another shot of vodka and to give the guys privacy to get changed. And if she let herself cry openly...well, that wasn’t anybody’s business but her own.

The front door closed without so much as another word from any of them. Drea took herself, her bottle of vodka, and her pillbox to bed.


	11. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time moves on and apologies can be made and accepted. Besides, there are plans afoot.

The days ran into each other until her life was, once again, wake up, go to work, come home...lather, rinse, repeat. There were so many times, sitting at either the diner or bistro, where she grabbed her phone to text either Steve or Bucky...but the uncertainty of what to say stopped her every time.

One day she walked up the stairs to her building to find a flower delivery man standing at her door knocking,

“Can I help you?” Drea called from three steps away on the staircase.

“Yeah...are you Cassandra Bryan?” Drea shot him a suspicious look but nodded yes. “Thank God because I didn’t have instructions on what to do with these if you weren’t home.” He motioned to a small bouquet of delicate looking yellow flowers.

Drea hopped up the steps and unlocked her door before taking the bouquet. “Gimme a sec and I’ll get a tip…”

“All taken care of. Oh and there’s this.” He handed her a small card. “Have a nice day!”

Drea shook her head as she went into her apartment. The flowers were Carolina jasmine, one of her favorite flowers. She hadn’t seen any real jasmine since she’d moved and the bright yellow color was a welcome addition to her drab day. She dropped her bag and went to get the vase one of her roommates had left behind for the flowers.

**__** __

_**For my Carolina girl.** _

_**Steve** _

Drea put the note, opened to the message, up on the fridge and went to text Steve a thank you.

The next morning, an incessant knocking woke Drea up long before she wanted to be up. A day off and she was awake when it was still considered ‘AM’ was not a good thing. Drea pulled her robe tight around her as she stumbled towards the door, yelling for whoever was unfortunate enough to be on the other side that she would be right there.

“Cassandra Bryan?” Drea grunted in the affirmative. “These are for you.” Drea blinked at the sizeable bouquet of pink crepe myrtle. “And so is this,” the lady handed her a small box. “Have a good day!” She honestly chirped as Drea shifted the flowers to make sure she held onto the box.

“What about a tip?”

“Already taken care of!” The woman was bouncing down the steps as Drea slid back behind her door and closed it in case the perkiness was contagious. This bouquet came in its own vase already and there was a card tucked under the ribbon on the package. She sat the vase down on the table and pulled the ribbon and paper off the box. Pralines. Only one person in all of New York knew about crepe myrtle and pralines where Drea was concerned. 

**__** __

_**Pralines and pink crepe myrtle.  
I know it’s not your grandmother’s house but I thought you’d still like a bit of home.** _

_**James** _

The handwriting wasn’t as fluid as Steve’s was but it didn’t matter. The fact that he remembered her stories of sitting in her Granny’s front yard with the crepe myrtle bush and eating pralines...that mattered.

The gifts stayed relatively on par. A hydrangea plant (honestly what was she supposed to do with an actual fucking plant?!) was followed by gift basket with a bag of honest to God Southern grits, hickory smoked bacon, and fresh peaches. That was topped only by authentic Beacon sweet tea and the intimation that there was more where that came from. 

“You can’t just have a note saying that the tea was just to whet my appetite. That’s a cruel and unusual thing to do to a Southern girl who’s been this far away from home for far too long.” Drea cooed into the phone as she carefully calculated how much tea to drink to maximize the time she’d be able to keep it.

“Just trying to keep you on your toes.” Steve paused and Drea held her breath. “It’s nice to hear from you.” 

Her breath rushed out as she smiled. “Yeah...sorry about the radio silence. But thank you for giving me time.”

“You’re welcome,” a familiar voice said in the background and she couldn’t suppress her nervous laughter.

“Didn’t realize this was a conference call.”

“Well it’s kind of hard to do anything secretly when we both have extraordinarily good hearing. Besides, we have a question for you.” The sounds of the phone being jostled precluded an answer from Drea. “We were wondering if you’d like to have dinner...with both of us.”

Drea sat down a little too hard. “Ooof...umm...I dunno.”

“Did we mention that we’re getting takeout...from this Beacon place you talked about?”

“How...actually nevermind. I don’t care how. Tell me when and where…” 

“Our place your next night off.” It was Bucky who answered and Drea sighed dramatically. 

“Well I work midshift tomorrow. That too soon?” 

*****************

“So who exactly are we bribing to run to South Carolina before tomorrow night?” Steve tried to sound serious but he was almost giddy and he knew Bucky could tell.

“Nat owes me one. Plus, she’s already in Atlanta thanks to Clint being the celebrity judge of an archery competition.” Bucky was already texting on his phone and smiling widely. “Apparently this place’s reputation is well known. I didn’t even have to send them the website.”

“So...are we gonna talk about this or?”

Bucky stopped wandering around with his eyes glued to the phone in his hands. “Well I do have an idea but I don’t know how receptive you’ll be.” When Steve didn’t argue, he took that to mean he could continue. “I know you don’t want to stop seeing Drea.” Again, no argument from Steve. “And I know I don’t want to stop seeing her either.”

“And I don’t want you to stop seeing her but…”

“But she’s putting the ball metaphorically in our court to figure this out so how about this. There’s this notion I ran across where we both get to keep dating her and she us but we all date each other.” That got Steve’s attention as he could feel Steve’s blue eyes following him around even though he wasn’t speaking yet. 

“So we’d all just…” Steve made a circular motion with one finger and Bucky nodded yes. “Really? That’s a thing now? Like an accepted thing?”

“I don’t know how widely accepted it is but yeah. It’s called polyamory and I just read an article that something like five percent of Americans are polyamorous.” He sat down on the couch just outside Steve’s reach and tried not to fidget nervously in the silence.

“And what if Drea’s not a fan of this idea?” Steve’s voice was quiet and calm but there was an edge of apprehension. “What if she’s only willing to date one of us?”

“Then that decision is up to her and we just have to be okay with her choice.” He slid the short distance to press himself against Steve. “But we at least give her this option in case she’s game.” He tucked his head into Steve’s shoulder and sighed when he felt a kiss being pressed to the top of his head.


	12. The Best Laid Plans...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys planned for a date night at their place...but the world at large apparently had Other Plans.

Drea had never been so happy to see the end of her shift. As soon as her relief showed up, she all but ran out of the store, her Uber waiting for her. She’d obsessed over what to wear the night before and that morning, settling on either a floral sundress with her denim jacket and cowboy boots or her standard jeans and a tshirt. She wanted to dress up so she went with the sundress, even though it showed off all her tattoos. Drea wasn’t ashamed of them by any means...she had just been told by enough dates in the past that they were a little “much.”

She was almost done with her makeup when her phone buzzed with a text message.

**_S: Keys are under the planter out front. Let yourself in. Red key is for the front door, blue for the apartment to the right. We’ll be there as soon as we’re done._**

As soon as she read Steve’s text, she started to worry.

**_D: Done? What’s going on? Do we need to cancel?_ **

**_S: No cancelling. We won’t be long. Just got a thing to take care of. Xoxo_ **

**_D: Be safe. Xo_ **

There was less bounce in her step as she finished up patting the lip gloss on her lips. Drea worried that something bad had happened but she didn’t want to turn on the news and start obsessing so she called another Uber and went downstairs to wait.

During the ride, the driver had on talk radio. She heard bits and pieces about something going on around the United Nations. There were so many voices talking over each other that all she heard was ‘terrorist’ and ‘multiple casualties’. That’s when she started tuning the radio out. She noted, when the driver pulled up to the building, that there were lights on downstairs but Steve’s motorcycle was gone.

Drea found the keys right where Steve said they would be. She let herself in the main door and then into the other door, which wasn’t a security door like Bucky’s had been. The lock was simple, again unlike Bucky’s door which was triple locked and Drea remembered that there was a security system behind it that Bucky could only turn off with probably his thumb print or something. The living room felt like a combination of Steve and Bucky. There was a big L-shaped sectional sofa in the middle of a large open space with no delineation between the kitchen and living room areas. There were black and white prints framed and hung up along the exposed brick wall along with sketches that Drea figured were Steve’s given the fact that he talked about art so much. The kitchen was spotless, which screamed Bucky. There was a medium sized dining room table with three places set. Drea wandered around, peeking into the fridge and internally squealing when she saw a jug of Beacon sweet tea.

After looking around the downstairs (and resisting the urge to look around upstairs), Drea sat down on the couch and decided to turn on the frankly enormous tv. It wasn’t too complicated and soon enough she’d found an NCIS marathon on USA to occupy the time. 

An alert came over her phone that the streets around the United Nations building were being closed off and for people to avoid the area until further notice. She thought about texting either Bucky or Steve to check on them but realized as soon as she started the text that she’d rather them focus on whatever was going on.

One episode turned into five and before long Drea was tucked into one corner of the couch with her legs curled underneath her and a blanket from the couch pulled up over her. The show changed from NCIS to Law and Order: SVU but Drea barely noticed, her eyes becoming heavier and heavier until she let herself drift into what was only going to be short nap until her guys got back.

The first thing that registered when she woke up was crappy infomercial music. Drea stretched before standing up, the blanket falling around her feet on the ground. The clock on the cable box read three and her cell phone verified that it was indeed three am. She looked around the apartment but nothing had changed. She was still alone but she’d slept for six hours. She checked her phone again to see if she’d missed a text or call but nope. She opened her Uber app and requested a ride. On her way out, she saw a notepad on the counter and thought about leaving a note but couldn’t decide what to say.


	13. What A Cruel Thing To Pretend...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And in the aftermath of the prior evening's cancelled plans, Drea deals with, well, things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter was rough to write. There is vague mention of some pretty heavy drug use but none of it is explicit save for the mention of needles in passing. The fallout of this is coming in the next chapter but I'll have more on that then. But get ready because it gets pretty rough and angsty from here.

Thankfully, Drea worked that afternoon but still she hadn’t slept so she was cranky and not in the mood to deal with needy customers or their bullshit. She managed to keep her bad mood in check for the first hour but then this old woman came in and would not shut the hell up about whatever had gone down at the United Nations building. Jamie, one of the other techs, motioned for Drea to switch with her so she could ring up the motor-mouth while Drea sorted prescriptions and Drea mouthed ‘thank you’ as she stepped by her.

“And let me tell you...the sight of them pulling Captain America out of that building just about made me double over!” Drea heard the woman exclaim and she had to fight the urge to take a step back over and grill her for information.

“Well it couldn’t have been that bad. I mean he’s Captain America!” Jamie snorted.

“Honey he was on a stretcher and that suit of his was torn to bits. I blame that awful Winter Soldier…”

“No now I heard the hallway Cap was trapped in was collapsing and the Soldier ran in to cover Cap from the falling debris…” a man piped up. Drea had to hold onto the counter to keep from falling down.

“Did they say how badly they were hurt?” Drea called.

“I’m sorry?” The old woman said. Drea jumped until she was practically in the woman’s face. 

“Did they say how badly either Cap or the Soldier were hurt?!”

“Well...no but Cap looked real bad.”

“What about the Soldier?! They didn’t mention him? Did they show him at all?!” Drea had a death grip on the counter to keep from propelling herself across it to shake more information from the busybody.

“Hey calm down now! Somebody come get this girl away from me!”

Drea felt herself being pulled backwards towards the office. She vaguely heard Jamie apologizing profusely, making excuses for her, something about how she was a big Avengers fan and just got carried away. She threw herself down into the office chair as soon as she heard the door close.

“So I’m going to assume you haven’t heard anything about either of them.” Laura crossed her arms and leaned back against the door and Drea slumped down into the chair. “Okay well here’s what I saw on the news. Somebody calling themselves the Atlanteans attacked the United Nations last night because the General Assembly was in session late and the Avengers were called in. There was an explosion and Cap...Steve...stayed behind to make sure all the translators were evac’ed. In the process of doing that, a hallway collapsed but Bucky ran in just as it did to try and get Steve out. Vision had to do that thing where he can pass through walls to find them and then Iron Man and War Machine were moving rubble until almost 4 am trying to get them out. The last thing I saw, they were both in surgery.”

“Jesus fucking Christ when I was pissed at them last night for standing me up, they were fighting for their lives.” Drea sat up to lean forward and drop her head into her hands. She flinched involuntarily when she felt Laura’s hand on her shoulder.

“Go home. You are seriously no good to us here. The last thing any of us need is for you to crawl across the counter after someone...go home. Take a couple of days until you find out they’re okay and for God’s sake call me and let me know?” Laura gave her a gentle shove back.

Drea called a cab and headed home. She wanted to call someone to find out how Steve and Bucky were but she didn’t exactly have Tony Stark’s phone number. She tried calling Steve and Bucky’s phones but they both went directly to voicemail. She was getting desperate but she also knew she couldn’t just show up at Avengers Tower and be all ‘Hey so I’m dating Captain America and the Winter Soldier and want to know how my boyfriends are’ so she was stuck in limbo.

Drea didn’t do that good in limbo.

She fished out her pillbox practically the instant she was through her front door and swallowed four pills. She was almost out so she went for her stash in her bedroom but she was running low there, too. Only one person to call…

“Hey Oscar…”

“Drea my favorite person. How’s tricks?”

She laughed. “Stressful. Very stressful. That’s kinda why I’m calling. I need something in addition to my usual order…” She bit her lip, hoping he wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“How extra we talkin’?”

“How extra can you get your hands on?”

“Oh baby girl...that must be one hell of an amount of stress you’re under but you’re a good customer so I’ll have somebody over in twenty. You gotta thing about needles?”

“Nope. And hey can you send my regular order, too? Just in case I chicken out of using the extra?”

“Sure. Just seriously don’t mix and match. You’re good people and I don’t say that about many…”

Thirty minutes later found Drea chasing down her usual cocktail of pills with her now renewed vodka stash. There really was nothing you couldn’t have delivered in New York...even in Brooklyn. She was still scared and worried but she was all tingly in her fingers so she didn’t care about being worried. That feeling didn’t last as she turned on her TV to a news briefing.

“There’s no new update beyond what was reported earlier. Captain Steve Rogers was critically wounded in the attack on the United Nations last night. The national hero underwent surgery early this morning at Avenger’s Tower. A spokesperson for Stark Industries did confirm that Doctor Helen Cho had been flown in to oversee the surgery. James Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier, also sustained severe injuries requiring surgery that Doctor Cho’s team was overseeing as well.” The generic looking anchorman delivered the news before replays of whatever the fuck had happened at the UN last night started. She watched Steve and Bucky move, captivated, as always, at the differences in their approach to fighting (what looked like mermen with feet) and just moving. Drea was okay until she saw first Steve and then Bucky being pulled from the debris on stretchers. She didn’t even try to stop the sob that bubbled up from somewhere deep before clicking over to a different station only to see the same thing from a different angle.

“Jesus how many times are they gonna show this shit?!” She took another swig of her vodka.

“All requests for updates both directly to reps coming out of and going into Avengers Tower and requests directed at Stark Industries have gone unanswered.”

Drea jumped when she heard her phone ding.

**_Laura: Heard anything????_ **

Drea turned her phone off in disgust. She thought she should feel bad about that but she couldn’t manage to dredge up the guilt. She wouldn’t hear anything about her boyfriends until the rest of the fucking world did so fuck it all…


	14. Thank Heavens for Doctor Cho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why the title? Because she had to deal with Steve and Bucky in medical for DAYS. 
> 
> And then she lets them loose so they can go find out why Drea isn't taking their calls or answering their messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got confused. The fallout from the last chapter isn't in this chapter but the next one. This one is just Steve & Bucky getting to Drea.

Bucky and Steve were released from medical together mainly because Dr. Cho was trusting the two of them to keep the other in check. 

“Doc I’ve been trying to keep him in check since 1920-something and it ain’t worked yet so…” Bucky groused good naturedly and ducked a flying pillow for his trouble.

“Well I’m happy to report that you both are making a remarkable recovery but, considering your respective serums, that shouldn’t be surprising. Just no stopping any falling buildings with your bodies for a few days yet? Give your bodies a chance to rest.” Helen Cho rolled her eyes at the fact that neither man was listening to her and were, instead, glued to their phones. She signed off on both sets of discharge paperwork and left them to their own devices.

“Hey you able to get through to Drea? I’ve sent her about 10 texts and nothing.” Steve was staring at his phone.

“No...and I just tried to call her and it went straight to voicemail. Think she’s workin’?” Bucky had a devious twinkle in his eye that Steve was all too familiar with.

A change of clothes later, they were navigating their way back to their borough and to Drea’s store. They had to stop all together too often to reassure people that they were okay, despite Tony having to issue a statement two days ago that, yes, they had both come out of surgery and were on track to make a full recovery. People were stopping Bucky to thank him for saving Steve, which left Bucky speechless but not for the reason most people thought.

“Oh Rogers...if they only knew how many times I’d hadda pull your ass outta the fire back in the day…” Bucky smirked as they walked down the street towards the Duane Reade where Drea worked.

“Hey Laura! Drea around this afternoon?” Steve smiled but was rewarded with a shocked look on their girlfriend’s boss’s face.

“Uhh...come on back.” She motioned them back to the office, not saying a word until they were in and the door was shut.

“What’s up?” Bucky was on edge instantly.

“You tell me. I figured when that statement came out that you two were okay that Drea had managed to find you two and that’s where she’s been holed up.” Laura perched on the desk.

“What do you mean?” Steve watched Laura for any clues but he needn’t have. The woman was an open book.

“Well, the day after the UN thing, Drea practically climbed the counter after this old bittie was in here going on and on about what happened so I sent her, Drea, not the bittie, home and told her to take a few days until she, and the rest of us, found out you two were okay. When the announcement was made that you two were okay, I called her but her phone went straight to voicemail. I’ve called her,” Laura reached for her cell phone to check, “thirty times in three days and they all go to voicemail. I haven’t been able to go check on her because I’ve been covering for her here. I just figured, ya know, with you two on the mend…” She raised her eyebrows but neither man was taking the bait.

“So you haven’t heard from her in four days? Do you know of anywhere else other than her apartment she could be?” Laura shook her head no. “Okay we’ll go check on her and let you know.” Steve opened the door and headed out, knowing Bucky was calling Natasha to get her to trace Drea’s cell.

“No dice. Her cell’s turned off. Need me to run a background on her to see where she could be?”

“Only if we don’t find her at her apartment. Call you back in a bit.”

Neither of them said anything the entire way to Drea’s apartment. They didn’t need to. They could read each other well enough to know the other was incredibly worried. They hadn’t intended to end up in surgery or just this side of medically induced comas following the UN incident and that fact that Drea had been so upset that she’d dropped off the grid was gnawing at the both of them.

They got to her apartment building and took the steps two at a time. Standing outside of her door, neither of them could hear anything out of the ordinary inside the apartment. Steve knocked several times and called her name but got no answer. Bucky knocked slightly harder with his metal hand and yelled her full name but still no response came.

“Ain’t been a peep outta there in days. I was getting worried. Some of her students came by yesterday but left when she didn’t answer the door.” A young woman in her twenties offered as she came up the steps. “She’s generally in and out on the way to work, says hey when I see her but…” She shrugged and continued up to the next flight of stairs.

“Do you know if she keeps a spare key hidden anywhere?” Steve called.

“Yeah. Bottom of the door on the left hand side of the jamb. There’s a false panel.” Bucky leaned down as soon as the woman started saying where it was and was in the door the before she was through talking.

“Drea? Drea!” Steve called while Bucky went to look in the bedroom.

“Steve call an ambulance!”


	15. What I Need Is A Good Defense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drea wakes up in the medical unit of Avengers Tower with two upset supersoldiers wanting to answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is the rough chapter. There is discussion of Drea's drug overdose, the specific drug she overdosed on, and measures that were performed to save her life. Again, I'm not a nurse so I fudged the details.

The first thing Drea felt when she started waking up was an extreme case of cotton mouth. Actually, scratch that...this was more like someone poured the Sahara Desert into her mouth. And into her joints…

“Oww…” She cracked her eyes open and immediately regretted it as what felt like 10,000 needles were driven into her brain. She kept her eyes mostly shut but open enough to glance around the room. She had no idea where she was but this was not a normal hospital room. 

“In case you’re wondering, you’re in the medical unit of Avengers Tower.” Steve’s voice cut through her.

“Uhh...how?”

“We found you and it was quicker to call a Quinjet and bring you here than to get an ambulance.” And there was Bucky. She was so screwed.

“I was fine. I just needed to sleep it off.” She pushed her head back into the stupidly soft pillow as she heard someone growl. That had to be Bucky.

“FRIDAY would you please run down Cassandra’s vitals when we brought her in?”

“FRIDAY, whoever you are, would you please not? Cassandra is right here and is fully aware of her vitals, thank you very much.”

“Very well, miss, but you did have to be resuscitated twice upon admittance to the medical ward. The dosage of hydromorphone in your system was vastly in excess of the medical or even intelligent limit of someone of your size and stature. You’ve been….”

“Thank you, FRIDAY, we’ll take it from here.” Bucky snapped before silence engulfed the room.

“Okay so I overdid it a little but…”

“Did you not hear that fucking report?! YOU. FUCKING. DIED. Do you get that, Cassandra?! Steve and I had to stand there and listen to your heart stop beating not once but twice. And that was AFTER we administered CPR on the Quinjet.” Bucky jerked the bed until she looked at him. His eyes were red and there were bags under them like he got when he hadn’t slept. Drea began to fidget with the sheet to keep from looking at either of them.

“Buck, sit down before you fall down.” Steve’s voice was quiet but Drea could still hear disappointment and that, coupled with Bucky’s reaction, hurt. She looked up at the IV she was hooked to. Saline. Fuck. “Yeah you’re only getting saline. The doctors flushed everything else out of your system while we kept you under. Even then there were a couple of times we thought we might lose you.” Steve sat down on the bed next to her legs and just looked at her. Silence again.

“So I went a little overboard…” Bucky made a noise but Steve silenced him with a look. “But consider this. My boyfriends were supposed to meet me for this neat dinner then stand me up. That’s cool. They’re superheroes so shit happens. I get that. But the next morning I hear AT WORK, mind you, that both of them had to be rushed into surgery because a fucking building collapsed onto them. So there I was, alone in my apartment. No news...well that’s not really true. All I had was the news but nothing beyond ‘Cap in critical condition’ or ‘Supersoldiers Take Brunt of Explosion...Will They Make It?’ and all that noise. And I kept callin’ and callin’ your phones but nada. And I don’t deal with well with nada when it’s to do with people I…” Drea took a deep breath. “People I care about. So I just needed something to calm me down and get me through until I knew you were okay. I guess I just lost track of time and how much I took.” 

“So the pills you’re always takin’?” Bucky’s voice was deadly calm and Drea knew it. She nodded silently and brushed away a tear that escaped down her cheek. This is a conversation she never wanted to have. “And then we went and left you thinkin’...”

“I was waiting to hear, with the rest of the country, when the national day of mourning was gonna be for Captain America and his childhood friend. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand not knowin’ but what could I do? Storm down here all ‘Hey so I’m nobody but I swear I’m dating Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes so could you tell me how they are even though I have no proof other than some pictures that I could’ve photoshopped at home before I came down here?’ Yeah no.”

Drea’s heart rate spiked, bringing in a very frustrated looking nurse who threatened to drag Steve and Bucky out by their ears if they didn’t stop upsetting her patient. Drea sank even further down in the bed and tried pulling the covers up to hide herself while she cried.

“Nope not getting out of this that easy.” Steve pulled down the sheet and tucked it under her abdomen. “But how about this. You rest because you need it. We’re gonna go crash upstairs because we need it. Everybody in this building knows about you we promise so if you need anything, ask. And if you want us, just ask FRIDAY. Right FRIDAY?” 

“Yes Captain Rogers.” The disembodied Irish voice chimed.

Drea brought her hands up to her face to hide the fact that she was crying, again, so Steve just dropped a kiss to the top of her head and moved towards the door. She was under no illusion that Bucky would come near her, though, so she just waited for the door to close but it didn’t. Instead, she felt metal brush against her hands.

“C’mon out from back there…” Bucky’s voice wasn’t furious, or even mad. Drea sniffled but didn’t move her hands. “C’mon, Drea, please? I need to see you…” Drea dropped her hands but couldn’t bring herself to look up until she felt metal fingers under her chin gently prodding her to look up. When she did she wanted to cry all over again. “I’m sorry I yelled but...we...I was so scared I lost you and all I could think was fuck that’s twice in less than a week that I’ve almost lost someone I love.”

Drea shut her eyes. “You don’t love me. You can’t.”

“Oh but I do, doll. See all this time I thought you had all your shit together and here I was with so much fucked up baggage that was just gonna pull you down and you’ve got your own baggage. When all’s said and done and you’re on the mend, me and you are gonna have a long talk…”

“I, uhh, I kind of looked up your history. You’ve so got me beat in the baggage department there champ.” She wiped the tears away absently.

“Yeah well you know mine but I don’t know yours. So...date?” Drea nodded and was rewarded with a smile. “Get some sleep and we’ll see you in the morning. There’s some stuff we wanna talk to you about okay?” Bucky leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.


	16. Unlikeliest of Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drea does the unthinkable and with an unlikely ally.

Drea tried to sleep but, every time she closed her eyes, nightmares haunted her. The reality of her wonderful boys finding out what she’d fought to keep from them was running rampant through her subconscious and was having an absolute field day. Around midnight, she gave up and decided to sit up. She thought about asking FRIDAY, whatever that was, if she could watch TV but decided, instead to ask to have someone bring her some paper and a pen.

“Wow...the world famous Black Widow makes deliveries?” Drea did a double take when she saw who was bringing her pen and paper to her.

“So you know who I am. Good. FRIDAY, Widow protocol.”

“Well, I didn’t at first but I’ve done my Googling since. I’m assuming you’ve come to threaten me given that code probably shut down whatever FRIDAY is?” She took the paper, wary of it being flung in her face. There had been a couple of articles that intimated that Natasha and Bucky had been something more than friends but there had been only speculation, especially since Natasha was engaged to one Clint Barton.

“No. Just thought we could do with some privacy. Why, do I need to threaten you?” There was something in her gaze that made Drea extremely nervous and on her metaphorical toes. “Look I’m gonna do something I rarely do. I’m gonna be honest with you. I did a complete background check of you the first time I saw your name in James’ phone so I know the truth behind what happened today.”

“Why didn’t you warn them?” She couldn’t meet the other woman’s gaze.

“Wasn’t my place. I was hoping you would but not like this.”

Drea felt rage bubbling in her stomach. “If you knew about me then why didn’t you try to get word to me about them?”

“I did. Your phone was turned off or don’t you remember that?” She shook her head no. “Didn’t think so. And I couldn’t exactly come get you what with two of my best friends in surgery and then still under close medical supervision so you don’t get to pull that card.”

Drea glanced up but only briefly, her gaze returning to the letter she was writing. “Sorry.”

“Yeah me, too. And so are they. I’ve never heard either of them as panicked as they were when Steve called for that Quinjet.” Drea kept writing, only stopping to wipe away tears. They lapsed into a companionable silence. She could tell Natasha was watching her to assess what she was doing but that didn’t stop her. Drea focused on writing.

“So I have a weird favor to ask…” Drea finally broke the silence after awhile.

“Want me to get you a change of clothes and your cell?” She blinked at her in disbelief. “I’m a spy. I can tell when somebody’s getting ready to run. But you’re not gonna get far.”

“I am if you convince them not to follow me.”

“Excuse me?”

Drea finished writing and folded the pages. “Just give them this and make them read it before they try to find me.”

“One condition.”

“Where am I going?”

“Where are you going?”

“Upstate. Never had a reason to go until now, if you catch my drift. Not gonna be cheap or easy but I guess there’s a reason I hung onto what’s left of my trust fund. Shit...work…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll go get those clothes.”

Drea sat on the side of the bed. There was so much more that she could’ve written but in the end, she wrote what she wanted. So she waited for Natasha to come back and tried to figure out how she was going to get out of a building she had no knowledge of without someone alerting Steve and Bucky.

“So here you go. They’re Clint’s so they’re nice and baggy. Given any thought as to how you’re gonna get out of the building? I mean FRIDAY’s turned off in here but outside of that door is an entirely different story.” Natasha tossed her a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt out of backpack.

“I’m guessing you have a plan in that bag.” Natasha smiled at her and pulled a shoulder length red wig out of the bag along with a baseball cap.

“Clint’s out at the nurse’s station flirting. They won’t look twice if a redhead slips out and to the elevator where Clint’s gonna meet you. He’ll be the one whispering about needing a getaway. I’ll lay in here in the bed which should fool FRIDAY’s sensors long enough for you to get downstairs. Tell him where you need to get to and he’ll take care of the rest.”

Drea started getting changed but paused. “Why are you helping me?” Natasha shrugged. “No seriously. They’re you’re friends and I’m just someone you saw make a fool of herself once in a park.”

“I know a little something about wanting to stand on your own two feet. Luckily somebody cared enough about me to help me so…” She gestured between them.

Ten minutes later, Drea took a deep breath and stepped out into the hall in the direction of the bank of elevators Natasha had directed her to earlier. She heard the sound of a man’s voice whistling and cooing at the nurses but resisted the urge to look back, instead just doing her best impression of a confident strut towards the bank of doors. She swallowed a grin when she heard the man call “Wait up, Tash!” before making his apologies for having to leave.

“So I don’t know about you but I could use a getaway...whaddya say?” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close just as the elevator doors opened and Drea just hummed.

“FRIDAY, a little privacy please? Unless you wanna watch…”

“No thank you, Clint.” Drea could’ve sworn she heard the edge of exasperation in the mechanical voice.

“Oh my god what is that thing?” 

“FRIDAY? She’s an artificial intelligence Tony designed to replace JARVIS. Long story. Just think of her as an all seeing eye. Thankfully she has no desire to record us in any compromising positions hence the intimation that we, well Natasha and I, were about to…” Clint started to make rude hand gesture.

“Jesus I got it. So that covers the elevator but what about the lobby?”

“Not going to the lobby. Straight down to the garage. Nat & I are both pretty good at sticking to the shadows so FRIDAY won’t look twice.”

Drea decided to just stick close to Clint until they were in his car. She took out her phone before they were to the garage to pull up the webpage of the treatment center she wanted to head to so she could have the address handy.

They picked up the pace as soon as the elevator doors opened to the garage. Luckily, Clint steered her to a car that was only a few spaces away, hitting the automatic unlock as they walked up so she could slip into the passenger seat. She heard a double beep come from his pocket as he gunned the engine and squealed the tires to get out of the garage.

“That would be Nat letting me know the nurses just busted her in your room. Got an address for me?” Clint weaved in and out of traffic as Drea stuttered out a yes. “Good. Put it in the GPS and we’ll be on our way…” HIs voice trailed off as the display on the dashboard displayed Natasha’s face. Clint hit a button on the steering wheel. “What’s up?”

“Wherever you are, drive faster but be safe. They know and they are pissed.” And just like that, the line went dead.

“Is Natasha in trouble?” 

“With Steve and Bucky? Not a chance. Other way around? Maybe if they don’t listen to her. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”


	17. An Awful Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky realize something terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't read too much into the summary. We still have a LOT of chapters left.

“What do you mean, she’s gone?! Where did she go!” Steve stomped around the hospital room while doing his best to intimidate Natasha, who was laying back in the bed that, until a little while ago, was occupied by his girlfriend.

“She needed to get out so I helped.” Natasha was not one to be intimidated by anyone, let alone Steve.

“Natasha...she’s recovering from an overdose. You were flying the goddamned Quinjet when we were doing CPR. Why the fuck would you help her leave?” Bucky, on the other hand, was disturbingly calm.

“Because she left you this.” She fished out a letter from under her leg and tossed it onto the table in front of her.

Bucky opened the letter but waited until he felt Steve leaning over his shoulder to start reading it.

_I have no idea how to start this so I’m just gonna start. I know you two are gonna be pissed and I’m not even gonna try to tell you not to be. You lead incredibly dangerous and stressful lives and those are not things I deal with well. Well, the stressful part. Never been around much danger. Anyway, I need to get to where I can deal with stress if I...if we...well, I just need to get my head right. And I can’t do that around you two because, well, you’re distracting as all hell and you’re always one step away from danger. And I won’t ask you to not do what you do. So please just let me go. I promise it won’t be forever...or I hope it won’t be._

_Your Drea_

“Where did she go?” Steve demanded but Natasha shrugged. “Don’t give me that.”

“How would I know where she’s going. I’m sitting here while she’s on her way to wherever.”

“FRIDAY, where’s Clint?” Bucky’s voice was hoarse and he was keeping his gaze down, tracing Drea’s handwriting with his eyes.

“His last known location was approximately 3 miles from here but he switched vehicles to a non-GPS enabled car. From there, he continued…”

“Just track his phone.”

“No can do, Captain Rogers. He has turned off his cell phone. He has also left the city so I am no longer able to track him via traffic cameras.”

“Steve…” Bucky reached out to where Steve was glaring at the ceiling as if he could magically make FRIDAY appear. “We have to let her go.”


	18. They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drea in rehab. What could go wrong?

Rehab sucked. There was no sugar coating it or waxing poetic about how she was finding clarity through sobriety. It sucked. There were days when Drea woke up ready to slit someone’s throat for a quick fix of something, anything, to take the edge off and then there were days when it wasn’t that bad but fucking hell by the time either group or her one on one therapy was over, she was ready to scream and go on a killing spree. Mostly, though, she just either sat in her room and cried or exercised...a lot. That’s one thing she was finding...when she wasn’t stoned out of her mind, she needed something to keep her mind off all the noise in her brain so she worked out.

Family day was the worst. Seeing how happy the other patients were with their friends and loved ones...at first Drea would try to stick around, because she was a masochist, but also because she missed that connection.

“You mentioned Steve and James...why don’t you call them and have them come up?” Nicole, her therapist, asked when they were talking about how Drea never had anyone up for family day.

“Not ready. Not yet.”

“Drea...you can’t isolate yourself up here. Besides, at some point, you’re gonna to have to talk to them. You need to…”

“I know all about the whole make amends thing. We talked about that in group. But I’m not there yet.”

“So there’s no one you want to come see you?”

And that’s how Drea had ended up asking her therapist very nicely to get a number out of her confiscated cell phone that Clint had put in there before he dropped her off so she could call Natasha to come see her on family days.

“How’d the doc like the T-shirt?” Natasha had brought her a ‘Rehab Is For Quitters’ shirt last family day. Drea laughed.

“Well she looked disappointed when she saw it in group but in our one on one she laughed and said that it wasn’t technically incorrect but that it was wrong. Thanks. And thanks for the sweet tea. I can’t believe nobody noticed you running to South Carolina…” Drea took a long drink from the half gallon but watched Natasha closely.

“They’re used to me going off on my own. And if that was your attempt to ask about your boys, we seriously need to work on your interrogation techniques.”

“We will as soon as we work on your subtly techniques. Can you not say interrogation so loud? I thought you were supposed to be here incognito.” Drea flicked a piece of paper at the obvious black wig Natasha was wearing this trip. Why she chose a different hair color every trip was beyond her.

“Seriously do you want to know or are you still in a state of don’t ask, don’t tell.” Natasha sipped her coffee and waited on an answer she knew wasn’t quickly forthcoming.

“So Doc says I need to make amends to you for my fuckup, even though I didn’t actually know you when I did it but it still impacted you since you had to help with the fallout. And I’m sure you had to listen to complaining from certain parties. So I want to acknowledge to you that I’ve known for years that I had this problem and I willingly let it take control of me and I am sorry that you got caught up in it. I also appreciate what you did for me with helping me...get here. And thank you for being my friend.” Drea was twitching and fidgeting so bad that she had to sit her tea down. Natasha let her finish her obviously pre-prepared speech and waited an appropriate amount of time before speaking.

“So do we hug now? Is that a thing or…”

“Shut the fuck up, Nat.” They laughed and things were right between them again.

Now if everything was that easy.

“I don’t know why this is such a problem.”

“Because I don’t want to see them.” Drea kicked at the side of the couch. She hadn’t sat back down since the doc had started with this particular subject almost 20 minutes ago.

“Drea…”

“Doc, please. I just don’t understand why I have to see them. I’m finally, FINALLY, in a good place. I made amends with Nat and Clint. My boss was up here last week and we’re good there. I get to keep my job, albeit not in the pharmacy but still. And I made amends with her. But them? No. I just...no.” Drea tightened her arms across her chest and glared out the window.

“And all of those are wonderful milestones but James and Steve...those are the two biggest people you need to make amends to. Think about how much you hurt them…”

“Oh look at that, time’s up.” Drea marched out of the office and didn’t stop until she was sitting in her favorite spot under the trees, far enough away where nobody could hear her sobbing.


	19. Making Amends Isn't Supposed To Be Shouty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky show up at Drea's rehab...and she has no idea they're coming. What's the WORST that could happen???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay like the chapter title mentions, things get shouty. And boy do these characters have filthy fucking mouths. You've been warned. Also, Drea does go into detail on her drug use. Just be warned.

“What. The. Shit.” Drea stopped just inside the family room as soon as she saw Steve and Bucky. They looked about as happy about being there as she did about seeing them there.

“Drea, please come in.” Nicole was standing off to one side, trying to keep a smile off of her face to keep up her professional facade. Great...her shrink was a fucking fan.

“Again I say...what the shit?!” She glared at her doctor.

“That’s not exactly the greeting I was expecting.” Bucky grumbled, which set Drea off.

“And what, pray tell, were you expecting?” 

“Considering YOU asked us to come up here? I don’t know…”

“WHAT?! I did NO such thing.”

“Okay I think it might be best if we all settled down and had a seat. Mr. Barnes, Captain Rogers,” Nicole motioned to two circular couches and motioned for Drea to sit in what Drea had termed ‘the comfy chair’ opposite the circular couches. “Now, I want to apologize for bringing you here under false pretenses, gentlemen, but Cassandra actually had no idea you’d be here today.”

“Damn straight I didn’t.”

“But it’s still important that you be here because there are somethings that she needs to express, obviously, and some things she would like to say.” Drea could hear it in Nicole’s voice that her patience was wearing thin but Drea didn’t care.

“I have absolutely nothing to say to either of them.” Drea pulled her legs up to her chest and linked her arms around her knees.

“Then you can listen as I’m sure there are things they would like to say to you.” Nicole motioned for someone to start talking. Drea assumed it would be Bucky.

It was Steve.

“Do you have any idea how much you hurt the both of us by what you did? Disappearing like that? We had to stand by while you died twice and then...then you were just gone! Do you…”

“Oh shut the fuck up!” Drea let her legs fall dramatically away before she stood up and marched straight over to tower over Steve. “Yes I had to be resuscitated twice. I know. You told me. Just like you had to do CPR in the Quinjet. I remember you telling me that. Atleast you fucking KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. Do you not remember how I got to the state I was in? I know you’re on the old side so lemme give you a refresher course. It’s because NEITHER OF YOU FELT THE NEED TO TELL ANYONE YOU WERE DATING ME. And then, if that wasn’t enough, you went and got fucking hurt BADLY ENOUGH TO NEED SURGERY EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE FUCKING SUPERSOLDIERS! Which, coincidentally, you ALSO didn’t tell me until my boss outed you. So you, Steven Grant Rogers, do NOT get to sit there and go all ‘You’ve hurt us’’ because you, you ginormous shitheads, BROKE. MY. HEART.” 

“She named you…” Bucky mused. She turned on her heel and was in front of him in a flash, her eyes narrow and her face flushed with anger. Bucky didn’t know whether he should sit up straighter or cower down into the cushions like Steve had. He chose to sit painfully still.

“Oh you shut the fuck up, too, mister. You...Gods above and below...fuck you, Bucky. Do you remember that first fight? When you were apparently on a mission with Natasha wherever the fuck and couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me? Yeah the reason I dropped off the face of the fucking earth? I couldn’t deal with the idea that this beautiful man was lying to me and stringing me along so I chased my double nighttime oxy cocktail with way too much vodka and passed the fuck out. And when you & Nat saw me in the park that day I ate shit and busted my knees up? I was meeting my dealer to stock up because I was running low courtesy of that night. So you don’t get to make little snide remarks because you’re just as culpable as that one.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Steve. “You had people who could push some buttons and POOF! Find out where I was, especially if I had my cell phone on or if I was walking around. Yes, Nat told me how FRIDAY works. But me? You two didn’t do shit for me. I was your dirty little secret. And that’s fine. I can do that...if I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I AM. But I thought I was...something else. A friend...maybe even a girlfriend. Who knows. I sure as hell don’t, obviously.” Drea wiped away the tears that were freely streaming down her face and took a deep breath. 

“So here’s my amends and you can take or fucking leave them I don’t give a flying fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such, I don’t know, an imposition? No...I’m sorry I was so embarrassing that you didn’t tell your actual friends about me until you physically had to. I’m sorry that my weakness and my addiction intruded onto your life. I’m sorry you had to bear the burden of that addiction. Thank you for saving my life. Now you can see your way out of it.” She choked back a sob and kept herself from running out of the room until she was the hall. Then she didn’t stop running until she was safely in her own room so she could throw herself on her bed and cry herself to sleep.


	20. Her New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drea's out of rehab and back home. What does that mean though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay a quick note. There is mention of Drea drinking after rehab. This is based off a dear friend who went through rehab for something similar. He can drink because alcohol isn't what he ever had a problem with. Plus, he rarely drinks. (Seriously in the almost 20 years I've known him, I think he's had like 3 drinks.) So that's that plot point addressed. It won't be an issue with Drea and she won't ever drink on page or even be referenced to having a drink off page.

There was little fanfare and no one to greet her when she left the center. There was, however, a towncar, courtesy of Natasha who was, apparently, indisposed. Drea smiled politely at the driver when he asked if she had any luggage but hugged her backpack close to her and climbed into the back, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall.

**_N: Congrats on getting out of rehab. Enjoy being chauffeured. You owe me a drink. Wait. Can you drink?_ **

**_D: Aren’t you busy saving the world or some shit? And yes I can drink. Alcohol isn’t my problem. There’s a bottle of vodka in my freezer with your name on it._ **

**_N: Wwwweeeeeellllll….._ **

Drea laughed. She’d forgotten she’d asked Nat to go by her apartment...although she seriously doubted she drank the vodka. More than likely, it offended her Russian sensibilities and down the drain it went. Oh well. No she’d had to ask someone to go through and clean her place out of all of her stashes so she’d asked Nat. She thought about asking if she’d taken either of the Eponymous Them, as Clint had taken to calling them, but she didn’t. There was still a tightness in her chest when she thought about them and she didn’t trust herself to even say their names yet.

Drea woke up when the car stopped. She’d fallen asleep somewhere there had still been more trees than buildings. The driver was waiting politely outside her door and opened it as soon as he saw she was awake. He offered to walk her upstairs but she declined, thanking him profusely. She didn’t bother with her mail, knowing Nat would’ve brought it up for her. Drea almost...almost...wanted or maybe even expected to see someone waiting for her on the steps leading up to her apartment.

There was no one there.

She sighed deeply and walked up, noting there was a giant bow across the door. WELCOME HOME was scribbled across the ribbon. Clint was a ham but he was a lovable ham and she’d come to know his chicken scratch anywhere. As soon as she got the door open, Drea carefully peeled the ribbon off, fully intending to keep it as a reminder of her first day of independent sobriety.

Out of habit, she checked all of the places she used to keep her pill stashes. Natasha had been thorough. She’d even left notes or drawings of things consisting of ‘Nice try’ or a warning symbol. Drea could tell the ones Clint drew because they were broken arrows or missed bullseyes. And when she checked her freezer, there was a note in very elegant script.

_That was not vodka. I don’t know what that was but it was not vodka. Our place when you’re ready for company and I’ll introduce you to REAL vodka. ~Natasha_

Drea closed the freezer and noticed that there, under an archery target magnet (really Clint?) was a listing of all the NA meeting times and places near her and work. She took a deep breath and began to realize that she might...just might...be okay after all.


	21. The Dating Life of The Clean and Sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does one live and date when one has super-powered exes to obsess over and compare everyone to, albeit subconsciously? Not easily.

So Drea’s whole plan of living a superhero-free existence? Not that easy when you’re in a borough of New York City. How, she wondered late one night while metaphorically glued to the TV watching a play by play of the Avengers latest campaign against the forces of evil, had she been able to stay so blissfully ignorant of all of it once upon a time? She stared into her Chinese takeout hoping a different answer than the one her subconscious provided would appear.

It didn’t.

She dutifully went to her NA meetings and kept in touch with her sponsor, who knew about The Exes. Only once did Sherri go bug-eyed when Drea mentioned who were exes were and demand, albeit politely, ‘pics or it didn’t happen’. Drea dredged out her phone and the photos she couldn’t bear to delete and that was when her sponsor went bug-eyed. So whenever there was any kind of incident where the Avengers took center stage, Sherri showed up with Chinese.

“Does it get any easier?” She put her carton of Lo Mein down and stared at an invisible spot on the wall.

“The cravings or the exes?” Sherri said around a mouthful of Kung Pao shrimp.

“Jesus right now just the exes. The cravings I’m managing with kickboxing lessons.” Drea threw herself back into the cushions of the couch.

“You’re asking the wrong person about that then...I still Facebook stalk all of my exes at my low moments.” Sherri shrugged and took a drink of water.

“Ever think about talking to somebody about that?””

“I don’t know...have you?” Drea didn’t dignify that with a response, staring instead at the newcomer, some kid in, of course, blue and red, that was running circles around the rest of the Avengers. “That Spider-man looks more like a Spider-kid if you ask me…” And the conversation shifted to random topics Drea knew Sherri was picking to get her to stop focusing on the news so she went with it and made a mental note to cancel her trip in to Central Park considering it looked like there would be a massive clean up of villain bits from parts of it for days.

Drea’s life was far from boring but not as eventful as it had been and, strangely, she found comfort in that. She moved from the pharmacy at work, for obvious reasons, up to the front end but was made assistant manager in short order not only because she had a better work ethic and knew the paperwork of the store but because they honestly could not keep staff on the front. She still worked out a fair amount, loving the way she felt post-workout. The endorphin rush was a better feeling than any she’d gotten out of a bottle. She was even making friends in the gym she’d joined.

And then there were Natasha and Clint. She figured that, once she proved to them that she was okay and not at risk of relapsing to old habits, that they’d start finding excuses not to interact with her but no. When they weren’t busy with their Other Friends, Drea routinely found herself third wheeling dates. They even offered to set her up with their non-famous or super-powered friends but Drea declined politely. 

Drea had tried dating...there had been a couple of guys from her gym and a guy from the store, too. But all three dates had been disastrous. The first two had started with a lot of promise but one guy had been obsessed with how much Drea had eaten at dinner, making comments about her needing extra time on the treadmill to burn off all the carbs. She barely made it through dinner without punching him square in his face and reminding him that she could bench and military leg press more than him, fuck you very much. The second guy offered to pick her up at her apartment so they could split a taxi to the restaurant, which broke Drea’s rule about waiting atleast one date until a guy knew where she lived but okay she went with it. Once they were in the cab, however, the guy was all over her, moaning about how she’d been giving him all sorts of signals in the gym and how he knew she wanted him. In the end, her fist sent his balls a very clear message and she was home shortly thereafter. 

Both of them avoided her like the plague at the gym which was fine with her. 

The guy from the store...well, he lasted longer than the first date. He was nice and polite but there was something...off. After their fourth date, he was pushing either to come back to her place or for her to come to his and wasn’t really taking no for an answer. They’d gone over to the city and wandered around Central Park after doing ridiculously cheesy touristy things that Drea confessed she’d never done in all the years she’d lived here and were in an Uber on the way back to her apartment when he brought up coming up for a nightcap or just to hang out. At first, Drea almost went with it just for kicks but, the closer they got to Vinegar Hill, the less she was feeling it.

“Thank you for a wonderful day, Aaron. I’d invite you up but I have to be at the store first thing and I’m exhausted.” She’d smiled as she crawled out of the car, trying to get out and close the door before he could follow her but he had been right behind her.

“Why don’t I come up and tuck you in?” She could hear that he was trying for playful but there was something else in his voice that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on edge. She glanced back and saw that the Uber driver, a woman, hadn’t left.

“That’s so sweet of you but I really am completely wiped from walking around the park. Maybe we can meet for coffee later on in the week?” She’d made sure she kept her distance and didn’t let him back her up against a literal wall.

“But I’m already here so c’mon...just let me come up for a few minutes.”

Drea took and deep breath and decided it was time to stop playing. “I said no, Aaron. Now I would appreciate it if you’d leave. Look, the Uber’s still here. Just get back in and go.”

“All this time and work and you’re not gonna put out? Frigid bitch...what the fuck is your problem? I mean other than the fact you’re a junkie? Yeah I heard about you. Why d’you think I asked you out? Figured you’d be an easy lay…”

So that had been the end of Drea’s venture back into the dating pool.


	22. Grumpy Old Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky deal with Drea's accusations from rehab...and then try to get on with their lives. (With a brief appearance by Tony Stark.)

Things hadn’t fared any better in Cobble Hill. After they came back from Drea’s treatment facility, Steve and Bucky had fought amongst themselves about her accusations. It wasn’t that either of them took her side against the other. It was more that they both knew she was telling the truth and there was nothing they could do about it. 

“I know how she feels,” Bucky mumbled one day, when he finally emerged from his side of the building after a particularly vicious screaming match.

“What do you mean, Buck? You’re not my dirty little secret. You’re nobody’s secret, not anymore.” Steve was tired and the weariness was evident in his voice.

“No but when I first...came back...how many times did you go out with Avengers and get hurt only for me to find out when I had to sneak into the Tower to find out where the fuck you were?”

That left Steve speechless. He’d been trying to protect Bucky from having any negative memories triggered so there had been a couple of times Steve had decided, discretion being the better part of valor and all, to stay in medbay until he was completely healed before heading home to Bucky.

“That’s different…”

“Is it?” Bucky asked from where he had tucked himself into the corner of the couch and was angled so he could watch Steve, who had been trying to draw. 

“What about you?”

“Me? When have I ever lied to you, Steve?”

“What about the way you met her?” He shot back, no real venom in his words.

“I stopped by the store, I told you.”

“Yeah but what for? Why did you, who hate going into stores on a good day, have to go into Duane Reade in a different part of Brooklyn?”

Oh...that. “Uhh...there might have been a thing with a guy in the Bronx.”

“And by thing with a guy…”

“I mean Frank Castle called and asked if I wanted to come clean out a skinhead bar. Who am I to turn down an invitation like that from The Punisher?” Bucky smiled his ‘I know I’m cute and you know I’m cute so let’s cut the shit’ smile but Steve wasn’t done.

“But instead of going to the Tower and to medbay, which would’ve alerted me, out on a mission though I was, you chose to go stop at a drugstore to get the stuff to patch yourself up at home hoping I’d never be any the wiser?” Steve crossed his arms, getting more indignant as their conversation progressed.

“Okay, smartass, let’s talk about when you met her. When you texted me that night, you mentioned having to get fucking stitches. Now I know for a fact YOU didn’t go to medical since Tony made such a big deal out of nobody getting hurt on that mission but yet you had to get stitches. So explain that thing to me because…” Bucky flailed dramatically until Steve threw a pillow at him to get him to stop.

“Alright Jesus. It actually wasn’t even on the mission. I ran into a Hand foot soldier and felt like taking him down but that katana...didn’t know how bad he got me until I passed out in the store.” They fell silent for a time. “How did we not see that we do exactly what she accused us of?”

Bucky crawled over to Steve and pulled his shirt until they were cuddled together on the couch. “Because it’s not out of malice. It’s a protection instinct. That’s what was done when we were growing up so that’s our default.”

Steve pressed his lips to Bucky’s completely messy hair. “‘m sorry I lied and kept things from you.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He paused. “You think there’s ever a chance she’ll let us explain?”

“I don’t know. We did fuck her over pretty bad.”

“Yeah. I just miss her.”

“Me, too.”

That started the collective moping. Steve and Bucky started making excuses not to come to the Tower for team dinners and started scurrying back home as soon as they were done with debriefs after missions. They hadn’t been the most social to begin with but when Steve started cancelling, then just outright skipping, workouts, that’s when everybody knew something was wrong. 

Steve came downstairs one morning, alone since Bucky was doing his moping over in his space at the moment, to find Tony sitting on his sofa scowling around the apartment.

“Tony...I would ask you how you got in but that would be insulting to us both so I’ll just ask why.” He noticed that there was coffee on the bar so he picked it up on his way to the living room.

“You’re depressed.” Steve gave him a ‘no shit’ look so he continued. “We all know it and we all get it but c’mon. I realize that you and I haven’t had the best history but I do know what it’s like to have the woman you love leave you for this,” he gesticulated around them. “It sucks and it hurts. It feels like you have to choose between who you and who they want you to be and that’s not a choice for us. We are who we are. But Cap...Steve...you can’t let this swallow you. You can’t let this...this...pit of sadness become everything and eat up your life.”

“We’re still going on missions…”

“That’s the thing! You’re going through the motions but your heart...your hearts aren’t in it. I see it, Natasha sees it, hell even Vision sees it. You’re on autopilot. What we do...it’s dangerous and messy and complicated and you can’t half-ass it. You’re either in it or you’re not. So either pull yourself up and get back to it or quit but lemme tell ya...we’re still here & we need you. I know we’re not her but…” Tony did his probably patented shrug and Steve got the idea he was trying to get across.

“So are you giving this pep talk to Buck as well or just me?”

“Just you. Natasha’s over there trying to get through with Russian rationalizations or something I don’t know. I drew short straw to come talk to you.” He got up and headed towards the door.

“Thank you, Tony. I mean it.” Steve walked him to the door.

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. And hey, if you two really wanna mutual girlfriend, there are websites…” Thankfully the door closed on the end of that sentences. 

“Why does nobody believe I know about the internet?”

They tried dating, separately, but it never went past one or two dates. Steve mainly ended up meeting women just wanting to hook up with Captain America. Bucky met a couple of women online but once they realized who he was, it either turned into a ‘Hey, can you give Cap my number?’ or, if they made it past one date, things invariably got tricky once the whole “I thought you and Captain America were a thing” question came up. He still didn’t have an answer for that one that didn’t result in the lady getting up and stomping out of the restaurant/bar/wherever they were. 

“I think she is what’s considered a unicorn.” 

“What the fuck is a unicorn?” Bucky flopped down face first in the couch after another disastrous date.

“I read it in this book, The Threesome Handbook. Basically, a unicorn is a woman who is willing to date both members of an existing couple. They’re called unicorns because they’re basically nowhere to be found. I mean there’s a long list of criteria associated with unicorns but yeah basically I think that’s what she was...is...because we’re not gonna find another one.” Steve tossed the book onto the couch beside Bucky’s head. 

“You would think,” he muttered, once he pulled himself out of the cushions, “that someone who looks like me and with the fangirl following of you would have no trouble finding someone who’d be down with going out with us both. I mean we gotta be talking millions of fangirls for you…” Bucky whined.

“I mean yeah if you just wanna hook up I can go over to Time Square right now and come back with my pockets filled with numbers.” Bucky made a dismissive noise. “A relationship? Not so much.”

“There needs to be like a website...like grindr or Match.com or OkCupid but for this situation…”

“I can always ask Tony. If anybody would know, he would.”

“No.” Bucky threw his head back. “Well, not yet.”


	23. Once My Lover, Now My Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year and Drea has moved on, both literally and figuratively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so as previously stated, I'm not from NYC and have only done research so yeah I'm stretching what Drea could afford apartment wise on a manager's salary in Boerum Heights. Sue me I wanted her in that neighborhood for a plot device.

A year and a move later, Drea could not only see the Avengers, and Steve and Bucky, on TV but she could say their names to Natasha in conversation and hear how they were doing without it feeling like a gut punch. She was clean and sober for almost two years, the manager at her store, had a brand new apartment that she’d just rented in Boerum Hill and all was right with her world.

Then she walked out of Mile End Delicatessen one Sunday. She was tucking her order into her bag to make sure it didn’t get jostled when she heard a voice she hadn’t heard in two years.

“Will you hurry up, punk? I’m starvin’!”

Drea fought the urge to run. Then she thought ‘maybe, since it’s been two years, they won’t recognize me’. But a bigger part of her said, ‘Fuck it’ and she took a deep breath.

“Hi James.”

Bucky stopped in his tracks because only two people alive ever called him James and Natasha was in Aruba with Clint.

“Drea. Uhm...hi?” He stopped short and caused Steve to bump into him.  
“What the...oh wow. Umm hey Drea.” Steve fidgeted behind Bucky and she couldn’t help the smile that broke out.

“How are you two?” She took the initiative and stepped forward to hug them both, their arms around her a welcome memory even if they seemed a little stiff.

“Good...good. Can’t complain. Just here picking up a snack.” Steve kept up the conversation as Bucky just stared.

“You look amazing.” Bucky joined the conversation again.

Drea smiled brighter and laughed. “Thank you. I work out a ridiculous amount and diet. But it’s my cheat day and I’ve wanted to try this place since I moved so…”

“You moved?” They asked in unison.

“Yup. Got a new apartment a coupla blocks from here. Not that fancy but I love it so…” She shrugged.

“Good for you. You still at Duane Reade?” Bucky watched her to see if he was overstepping by asking.

“Mmmhmm. Been the store manager for going on three months. That’s how I can afford the apartment. So how have things been with you two? I saw that thing out at the Hoover Dam. Pretty scary!”

“You saw that?” Steve’s voice did not go up an octave. “I mean, uhh, you watched the coverage?”

“Of course! I mean I was at the gym and it was on so…” Drea did not make sure she had been in constant view of a TV with news coverage that evening.

“Nice to know you still care.” Bucky voice was absolutely filled with a bit of spitefulness and that made Drea flinch.

“Yeah I had that coming.” Steve’s phone rang and he had to excuse himself. “Look, I’d like a chance to explain things, if you’d let me. I mean I understand if you’d rather not but...I just...dammit this is hard. I don’t like the way I said what I said and I would really like a chance to explain, which I just said...God, Drea, shut up talking now.”

Steve joined them once he was off the phone. “Everything okay?” There was a tenseness to the air that hadn’t just been there.

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah just, uhh, Evelyn letting me know that she’ll meet us at nine instead of eight.” Steve tried to whisper but Drea still heard and, based on the flush to Steve’s face, she knew what kind of meeting it was.

“Well I better let y’all go. Besides, I have a date, too.” She patted her bag with her dinner in it and smiled. “It was really good to see you two. Take care!” She walked away quickly in the direction of her apartment and didn’t look back, not even when she thought she heard one of them calling her name.

That night, she went to a meeting and called her sponsor just to be on the safe side. She was a sponsor herself so she checked in with her sponsee just because she wanted to. But Drea couldn’t get rid of this ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“It’s jealousy.” Sherri said over the phone and Drea scoffed. “What, you know I’m right. You’re jealous. Hell I’m jealous and I never met either of them, let alone dated them.”

“But how can I be jealous given that I told them to get out of my life? Like how do I have a right to be jealous?” Drea was walking around her apartment aimlessly. 

“Because you still care about them. And do not argue this point with me. I’ve known this for two years and I’ve been waiting...WAITING...for you to realize it so I could say it and I’m gonna say it again. You. Still. Care. About. Them.” Sherri was repeating herself ad nauseam when Drea hung up on her.

**_D: So I have a question but before I ask it, I’m gonna give you an out on answering it considering who it involves._ **

**_N: No out needed. I’m not giving you details about Steve and James._ **

**_D: Fair enough._ **

**_N: So you finally ran into them. You okay?_ **

**_D: Yup. Went to a meeting, talked to my sponsor. Hung up on my sponsor. Going to watch Netflix until I pass out._ **

**_N: Text me tomorrow._ **

Drea put her phone down in favor of her remote to find something, anything, on Netflix to take her mind off her situation. The universe had a sick sense of humor because all Netflix was recommended were romcoms. Yeah no thanks.


	24. This Battlefield Has Made Me Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have changed and Drea, Steve, and Bucky are new people, especially Drea. She even has a new hobby, after a fashion, and it puts her in the path of danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember what I said about me not being an EMT? Keep that in mind.

Life was relatively quiet after that. Drea’s life, once again, consisted of work, the gym, atleast one meeting a week, and home. She ran into Steve and Bucky, separately at the deli and then at Absolute Coffee together. There was small talk and Drea may or may not have tried to subtly look around to see if there was anyone with them but didn’t see anyone. Natasha was, as ever, Fort Knox when it came to trying to get info on their personal life. Clint let it slide that they weren’t pining but Natasha shut him up with a look.

And because she didn’t have enough to do with her life, she went back to school to brush up on her EMT skills. She’d never be able to be a full fledged EMT again but she could volunteer. Laura had a friend who worked with New York State Office of Emergency Management and would call Drea whenever there was any kind of emergency where they needed an extra set of hands around the city. When she could, Drea would go and help as much as she could.

One of those times was at the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. The weird mermen looking things from the UN debacle 2 years prior were back and Drea was in the neighborhood. She’d run out of the house with her secondary kit without a second thought...and without seeing that the Avengers had been called in.

Drea ran from person to person, bandaging wounds, instructing people to move when they were okay and enlisting others to help move the ones who were unable to move on their own. She was completely focused on the injuries that were scattered around her that she was only tangentially aware of the sound of Iron Man’s weapons firing and the sound of a lot of gunfire.

“Looks like the good guys just showed up…” a younger woman who was following Drea called.

“Oh yeah? NYPD?”

“Them too but I meant the Avengers!”

Drea sighed and kept her head down, just focusing on the next injury that she came across, making sure to stay on the fringes of the action but noticing that the closer to the fighting is where there were more injuries and less people trying to help get people out of the way.

“Stay back here. I’m going to closer in to start bringing the more mobile people to help bring the more injured back out here.” Drea slung her backpack back up over her shoulder and headed closer to where she saw Thor and Vision fighting whatever those things were. She saw Steve take down three of them at once with a throw of his shield. 

It was a repeat...some Drea could help and those she did and had them move to safety quickly. The ones who were too injured to move on their own she helped as much as she could and flagged down retreating figures to help get them moved. She threw her body over bodies as energy weapon blasts came hurtling over them. 

“C’mon let’s get you out of here…” Drea leaned up and slid the young man towards her waiting helpers to get him to safety. As soon as she saw them heading to safety, she turned and headed for the next group of huddled survivors.

She made it about two steps before she felt white hot pain blossom across her lower right abdomen and on her right shoulder, knocking her to the ground. Her world was blinding pain until she hit the ground and her vision blurred. She thought she saw a black and silver blur and then a red and blue blur come into her field of vision but her vision swam until she passed out.


	25. Lay My Love Between The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reconciliation that's LONG overdue.

Drea slowly opened her eyes and was greeted with an familiarly unfamiliar sight. The room looked like an exact copy of the room she’d woken up in 2 years ago after her, well, overdose. But that couldn’t be right…

“Urgh…” Okay so her voice still wasn’t working.

“She’s awake…” Clint’s sing-song voice was actually a blessing to her frazzled nerves. 

“Yes she is and she would appreciate it if you kept it down because she has a headache and is confused.” 

“Oooh and she’s touchy. Time to get the doc.” Natasha quipped from somewhere. Drea didn’t want to turn her head to look. She heard Nat and Clint leave and decided to close her eyes until the doctor came in.

The doctor was in practically as soon as Drea’s eyes closed, asking 1,000 questions about how she felt and examining her. She found out she was on tramadol for pain after being shot with whatever those energy weapons were. Drea got a dose of tramadol and an ambien to help her rest followed by a visit from the nurse to let her know to call for FRIDAY if she needed anything.

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes miss?”

“Nevermind...I doubt they’d show up.” Drea was at the point where she was relaxed from the sleeping pill but not blitzed enough to actually ask the AI to call Steve and Bucky.

If she thought she’d been in pain when she woke up the first time, woah boy had Drea been wrong.

“Motherfucker what the fuck did I get hit by a bus or some shit last night?” She groused to what she assumed was an empty room.

“No you just tossed and turned a lot.” Bucky’s voice made her jump, which made her groan and cover her face with her non-injured arm.

“Do I want this to be a hallucination brought on by the enormous amount of pain I’m in or do I actually want to open my eyes and see you sitting there?”

“Well I’m not going anywhere so might as well open ‘em up. As for the enormous amount of pain, FRIDAY, have Doctor Cho step in when she’s done with Sam please?”

“Of course, Bucky.” 

Drea lowered her arm and opened her eyes but wouldn’t look at Bucky, who she could see was sitting in a chair that hadn’t been there when Clint and Natasha left yesterday. “So you’re calm about this. Should I be worried?”

“Natasha explained what you’ve been doing.”

Right of course she had. “Nice to know her not giving personal info only goes one way.”

“What?”

“Nothing. So no lecture about putting myself in danger? Or does that not apply to me?” She stared straight ahead, not trusting herself to look at him.

“Doctor Cho is on her way.” FRIDAY chimed in and Bucky practically lept out of his seat and was out of the door. As soon as the door closed, tears were streaming down Drea’s face freely. So much for any residual feelings there.

There was some fancy procedure where the tissue where she’d been hit was regenerated but there was still internal damage that needed time to heal so Drea had atleast one more night in the medical section of the Tower. Clint kept her company to and from the first tissue regeneration session, chattering away about nurse gossip he’d picked up on. Drea didn’t hear any of it, however, as she caught a glimpse of Natasha, Steve, and Bucky having what appeared to be quite the animated discussion.

Drea settled back in her bed and had FRIDAY turn on what appeared to be unlimited cable with the smallest glass remote she’d ever seen. Nothing was holding her attention and the tissue regeneration on her lower abdomen was itching. Clint had made his excuses so there was no one to keep her company. She checked her phone and returned a couple of text messages but apparently she’d been spotted on news coverage while helping the wounded during the attack and the coverage even got her being injured so work was blowing up her phone. She had to call her regional managers to let them know that she was okay and was being taken care of but would be out of commission for a couple of days.

And then there was her sponsor.

**_S: OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU OKAY I SAW YOU GET HIT ON THE NEWS TEXT ME_ **

**_D: I’m...well I’m gonna be fine. I’m in Avengers Tower. Don’t ask how I got here I don’t know._**

**_S: THANK GOD YOU’RE OKAY. First important matters. You good, medication wise? Do we have anything to talk about?_ **

**_D: No. Tramadol for pain and that’s by injection only._ **

**_S: Excellent. Now, have you seen Them?_ **

**_D: No comment._ **

And with that, Drea put her phone down because she didn’t want to get upset and make her newly regenerated skin pull and be any more uncomfortable. So she curled into that side and pulled the covers up around her, trying to get into the fetal position and failing when she remembered that she still had a shoulder injury. A news story about the attack came on and she found herself paying attention to find out what the hell had happened.

“Who the hell were those...whatever…”

“The attack was led by Attuma, a leader of a renegade faction of Atlanteans. Whereas most Atlanteans have no use for surface dwellers, Attuma seeks to rule every part of the world, both below the ocean and above. He was behind the attack on the United Nations two years ago in retaliation for continued offshore drilling.” FRIDAY chimed in from nowhere.

“So he decided what, he was offended by the Brooklyn Promenade? That makes sense…”

“I’d like to ask him that myself but he managed to get away.” Steve said from the doorway.

“A little warning, FRIDAY.”

“Apologies, miss, but Captain Rogers and Mister Barnes are at the door.” Drea glared at the ceiling but turned so she was angled towards the door. This was going to be interesting.

Steve and Bucky made their way into the room and with them came tension and silence. Steve sat in the strangely comfortable looking chair and Bucky leaned against what Drea thought was a projection of a window. She tried not looking at them but the TV turned off so she really didn’t have anything to keep her eyes focused on other than the supersoldiers in the room.

“So do I get my lecture now or…”

“Nope. No lecture.” Steve’s voice was soft but there was something just beneath his words that made her uneasy.

“Okay so is this where I get told to leave the heroics to the superheroes?”

“Nope. We just came by to check on you.” Bucky crossed his arms and looked at her.

“Okay...sounds fake but okay.” Drea was trying not to fidget but was failing miserably.

“Why does it sound fake, Drea? We still care about you…” Steve leaned forward and Drea thought for a moment it looked like he wanted to reach out to her. That couldn’t be...he, they, had a girlfriend, right?

“But I mean...that day at the deli I heard. I just thought…” She shook her head to stop the unending verbal dribble that was coming out of her mouth.

“Yeah that’s what we thought...well, once Natasha explained things.” Bucky came to sit on the arm of the chair. “So what you heard, about Evelyn?” Drea nodded her head. “That...Steve will explain.”

“Of course I will.” Steve shot Bucky a look and Drea had to stifle a giggle. “Evelyn was someone we were dating.”

“Were? As in…”

“As in not dating anymore.”

Drea was quiet for a bit, tugging on the sheet nervously. “So are you dating anyone now?”

It was their turn to be quiet, looking at each other in such a way that Drea knew they were communicating silently. “Not sure yet.” Bucky studied her closely.

“Yeah there is this one particular woman we’re interested in. And we think she’s interested in us but…”

She shook her head. No, she couldn’t be hearing them right. “So you need advice on how to find out if she’s interested?” She watched as Steve moved to sit on the bed next to her and Bucky moved to the other side of the bed. No this wasn’t happening. Drea tried to watch them both but when she turned her head back to Steve, his hand was cradling the side of her face. “Oh…”

“Is that a no?”

“That was an ‘oh I wasn’t expecting that please continue’,” Drea sighed as she felt Bucky sit down, gently on her other side. She could tell her was being careful of her injuries and her heart honest to God skipped a beat. And if she thought that was something, when Steve pressed his lips to hers, she momentarily forgot how to breathe...until the press of Bucky’s lips to her neck forced a surprised gasp from her mouth and into Steve’s. “You two really know how to ambush a girl.” Bucky nibbled on one ear while Steve kissed along her jaw.

“And you talk too much, doll.” Bucky turned her head towards his and leaned forward to cover her mouth with his, his other hand working its way carefully between her back and the bed. His kiss was a little more intense than Steve’s had been, Bucky’s tongue tracing the inside of her lower lip only for a second and, as if on cue, Steve found hit a sensitive spot on her neck that had her moaning into the kiss that gave Bucky access to her mouth. She fisted one hand in Steve’s shirt and the other in Bucky’s and shoved them away with a decent amount of force.

“Okay before the spike in my heart rate has the nurse running in here…”

“I’ve taken the liberty of alerting the medical staff that the increase in your heart rate is not due to any negative health risk.” Drea would swear the AI sounded smug.

“FRIDAY, make sure Tony gives you an upgrade.”

“That will never not be weird.” Drea shook her head and smiled at the men in front of her, holding her hands like they were made of the most precious material known to man. “I, uhh, I’m still not good with this whole talking thing but I just, umm, I thought I blew it with you two back at rehab and then that day with the thing…” she tried to gesture but neither one of them would let go of her hands so she just shrugged. “I’m sorry. Not for any of this!” Drea squeezed their hands to reassure them. “But of what I said back that day in rehab. I was mad and not channelling my anger very well. I wasn’t even really mad at you. I mean I was but not for the right reasons. I’m not making any sense.”

“Drea…” Bucky tugged on her hand but she shook her head.

“No I need to say this. I didn’t actually think I was your, what did I say, you dirty little secret or that you were ashamed of me. I didn’t know why you wouldn’t be ashamed of me. I was mad that you were wasting your time on a junkie, because that’s what I was. I was a functional junkie and I didn’t deserve either of you. And there’s a part of me that still thinks I don’t and will always think that. So when you got hurt and I didn’t know...I was so mad at myself for letting myself get involved and delude myself into thinking I belonged in your world. And before you say anything, I’m not saying you ever did or said anything to make me think I didn’t belong with you but that’s how I felt. And that’s why I was so angry. Plus, having you turn up there and see me at my metaphorical lowest after seeing me at my literal lowest, neither of which did I have any control over, wasn’t something I was prepared to deal with. But that day at the deli,” she shook away the tears that she could feel trying to slip out, “all I wanted to do was throw my arms around you and beg you to forgive me for being such a bitch. And then show you how much better I am. I started to but that phone call...and I’m not like that so…”

Nobody spoke for what felt like eons. Steve and Bucky traced random shapes on the backs of Drea’s hands and they all looked back and forth between each other, the silence a comfort rather than a curse until Steve spoke. “You really tried to get info about us from Nat?” Drea nodded yes. “Great minds think alike then…”

“She would only tell me if you made it out of a mission without any major injuries. Nothing personal. I kinda hated her for that on more than one occasion.” 

“Mmmm we know the feeling. All we got was that you were home from rehab and when you started volunteering as an EMT or whatever it was you were doing that got you hurt.” Bucky dropped kisses on each knuckle. “Speaking of…”

“Here we go…” Drea dropped her head back and settled in for a lecture.

“No stop. There won’t be a lecture. Just...we kind of know how you felt now. Because seeing you get hit by that energy blast. I swear to God I stopped breathing.” Steve’s voice was quiet and Drea could feel his worry. “I just..everything stopped until I heard Bucky over the comms say you were still breathing and it didn’t look like any vital organs were hit. I mean we knew you were helping out as a volunteer EMT but we’d never seen you out on an Avenger call before so…”

“Yeah that was my first one. I didn’t think, I just went because, well, I love the promenade. I hope you two don’t think I’m gonna stop…”

“Are you kidding? I’m hoping you’ll consider riding along as our own personal EMT.” Bucky smiled. “Think you can handle dating us and working with us?”

“Wait...you’re serious?”

“About the dating thing? I thought we’d made our intentions pretty fucking clear, doll.” Bucky grinned.

Drea rolled her eyes. “Smartass. I meant the personal EMT thing.”

“Of course you skimmed right over the important part. Way to wound a fella’s feelings…” Bucky grabbed his chest dramatically.

“What he means,” Steve slapped Bucky to get him to be serious, “is we were wondering if you would be open to working with the Avengers as a mission EMT. I mean if you’d rather not because of the stress and it putting your sobriety at risk, we totally get it. But it wouldn’t involve many, if any drugs. Or if it’s the whole conflict with your job, I’m sure we could come to an arrangement.”

“So what you’re saying is...not only do you want me but you want me around permanently and for more than just fun sexy times?” Drea pulled her hands into her lap and twirled her fingers together.

“If you’ll have us.” Bucky leaned forward, as did Steve, hopeful looks on both their faces.

Drea took a deep breath. This could either be very good...or end very badly. But how could she say no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading, THANK YOU!!! Seriously I can't thank you enough. I've been working on this for MONTHS and wasn't even sure I wanted to post this but here we are!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are loved and greatly adored/fawned over!!


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